Angry About Life

Dragon Age 2

2011-04-04T21:26:00.003+01:00

I thought it was about time I gave my opinion on this game given my love for the original. Be warned this is not a review in the traditional sense. I am simply going to make points about the changes made and why in my opinion BioWare got almost everything wrong with this game. Wrong? Yes very...

I played the original Origins and it's expansion Awakening extensively and it's safe to say I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Ferelden. Origins had problems certainly. The combat even on the PC was a little clunky and some abilities were never properly balanced. Arcane Warrior while fun was also stupidly overpowered and Shapeshifter... did anyone ever use it? Of course some did because there was so much freedom of choice people liked to play the game multiple times to try out new things. Graphically Origins wasn't very pretty and the universe certainly bore many similarities to other fantasy settings. However these are minor things really, Origins was such a good game that you glossed over these things to enjoy the greater whole.

Now Dragon Age 2 has made some improvements. The combat is much more fluid and in some areas it's a nicer looking game but that's about as far as the improvements end. The core of the game which has been changed has been changed much for the worse. By that I'm talking about choice or should I say the lack of choice. In Origins every player worked towards the same goal of defeating the Archdemon but how we got to the goal was widely different. The Warden character was important and by extension you the player are also important. You travel the land of Ferelden and can make changes that will have a massive effect on that country and indeed the larger world of Thedas. You never get the impression that the character Hawke is important. He rises in power to become Champion of Kirwall but you get the feeling he is just being swept along by the story, which of course he is. The character Varric introduces you as the Champion before you have even created your character.

This is the first major change, the Origins have gone. Hawke can be male or female and can be Warrior, Rogue or Mage but that's it as far as your choices go. No matter what you pick, you play the same introduction. Origins had six different beginnings based on your character but Dragon Age 2 has just one. Not long after starting the game one of Hawke's siblings (Warrior Carver or Mage Bethany) will be killed based on your starting character class. You have no choice in this, it's a scripted event. Already Dragon Age 2 is off to a bad start showing what you decide has no bearing on how this story is going to go. Shamefully this is repeated throughout the game. You are presented with choices either good, bad or snarky but the end result will always be the same and often you will hear the same reaction dialogue no matter how you act.

Dragon Age 2 has one story to tell and it's going to make sure no player is going to muck around with it. Which to me is a fundamental flaw in a Role Playing Game. If I want to watch a story I will turn on the TV, I play games because they offer a story which I can become involved in and the very best games will offer a story I make myself. Like Dragon Age: Origins. Mass Effect 2 another game from BioWare came in for some flack by having limited choices but even in that game you can make major differences with Dragon Age 2 it's like BioWare have tried to emulate Mass Effect 2 as closely as possible while missing the very thing people liked about it.

Of course like Mass Effect 2 limited or even non-existent choice can be forgiven if the story is good enough. Not really. It's a good story but it's not one I feel the need to play again. I got to the end and events happened no matter what I did and now the world has changed but I didn't really have much to do with that. The events have been in motion long before Hawke arrived in Kirkwall and the impression I have is they would have played out the same without me anyway. What made it worse for me was none of the options was a particularly good one. Join the Templars? Why? They are pricks and the leader is clearly going mad long before she gets her MacGuffin. Join the Mages? Why? The Templar's aren't wrong they clearly ARE all Blood Mages! Oh and the Senior Enchanter happens to know a bloke who killed your mother but said nothing. Oh and he also becomes a Blood Mage.

Making sense of some of this requires you to turn your brain off because it really makes no sense whatsoever. Clearly the writers knew there would be no choices for the player so they had to write people into complete extremes. I'm not saying every game should have a Deus Ex level of Grey where everyone has a valid point but just making everyone evil is extremely jarring. Companions also suffer from this often doing the most batshit insane things. Merrill for example will keep using Blood Magic no matter what you do right up to the point the clan leader is possessed. The Elves then go on a suicide mission of their own practically jumping on my sword. There was no point when Hawke shouted "LISTEN YOU SILLY BINT, ALL YOUR MUCKING ABOUT LED TO ME REMOVING 10% OF THE ELF POPULATION!".

In fact the thing that starts the whole war is started by your companion Anders. You can choose to help him or not but he will do it anyway. That's not a choice. Finding a way to stop him would have been a choice. In the end you get the choice of killing him or not (which I did, the stupid dickhead) but by then it doesn't matter. I would have killed him much sooner had I known he was going to start a war with the Templars by blowing up the fucking church! How about blowing up the Templars instead? By removing the one character who could have ended this peacefully BioWare removed the last obstacle to their ending and the failure of Dragon Age 2 is complete.

Along the way Dragon Age 2 is replete with failure of course. The loss of an overhead view makes playing tactically almost impossible. BioWare claim this is due to the high buildings in Kirkwall. Did they really remove a feature people liked just so they could have higher Beige walls to look at? In Origins fights were pre-planned with enemies placed intelligently to use the layout of the places. In DA2 we now have attack waves so every fight plays out like the Agent Smith burly brawl in The Matrix: Reloaded. I find that boring and sloppy yet BioWare claim they are happy with this. On the subject of locations they are re-used endlessly. There is one cave map, one mansion map, one hideout map and you will be seeing them repeatedly. There is no effort to even disguise this with doors just blocked off and the mini-map showing areas you can't get to on this particular visit. The Lead Level Designer thought it wouldn't be an issue.

Dragon Age 2 is clearly a very rushed and under-funded title. There were sweeping changes made to the core game when those changes really weren't needed leaving little time or money to then work on the areas that did need changing. Dragon Age 2 isn't a bad game but what it is, is to Dragon Age: Origins what Deus Ex: Invisible War was to Deus Ex. It's a crying shame especially as the original game was so well received. I have to question what the designers were thinking when they decided to ignore the 5 million people who bought Origins and develop this re-boot for a whole new audience. Judging by the sales figures so far it looks like DA2 won't reach the same sales numbers as Origins either so again why would they chase this new market who seem to have rejected DA2 when they had 5 million people waiting to buy a proper sequel.

BioWare say they have to change, to adapt to the 21st century and their RPG's have to change as well. I would question the wisdom of that decision because making games like Origins is what BioWare do well. I'm sure if the CEO of Ferrari turned up to work some day and announced "Guys I love the cars we make and we make a lot of money from them. But we could make even more money if we started making cheap hatchbacks with the Ferrari logo on them" he would probably turn up dead in a garbage bag in Turin before the sun was down. Make what you are good at making BioWare, the games people love and continue to buy even if they don't buy enough for you to own two ivory backscratchers.

The name BioWare no longer has the luster it once had for me and that's a shame because every new BioWare game was an event for me. Any game from BioWare from now on will be treated with the caution I use with any big publisher release and that's sad.

The Great PC Conspiracy

2010-10-05T03:03:00.000+01:00

Why do we PC gamers have to get called pirates and cunts? Because the money is in console games end of. We have to listen to console gamers going on and on about the latest version of Halo because Kotaku sucks Microsoft the hardest.

The PC needs a spokesperson dare I say an Ambassador? When the product manager for Kinect has the balls to say no one plays FPS games on the PC anymore you have to know the line has been drawn. Who are we going to get to be our Microsoft or Sony? Intel? No they don't care. AMD? Give me a break. Nvidia? Maybe once their checks have stopped from Sony. And now we are left with the PCGA who all need to be sacked. Capcom being there alone is a huge insult.

I don't ask for much but I do want someone to take over the PC as it's format and call people liars when they are lying. At the moment the only company close to acting like that is EA and that shows you just how broken things are.

Fallout 3 - Modding for dummies.

2010-07-24T22:39:00.005+01:00

Hey kids i'm going to do something techie now. Nothing good will come of this.

So you have the PC version of Fallout 3? Console version? GTFO. While Fallout 3 may be one of the most unstable and buggy games in history it's also extremely moddable which is really good news for us PC gamers. What i'm going to do here is present how to mod Fallout 3, how to sort out some problems caused by modding Fallout 3 and suggest some mods that may enrich your gaming experience.

The basics. The first thing you need to do to make any mods work is to download the Fallout Mod Manager. You can find the latest version here at http://sourceforge.net/projects/fomm/ . Why do you need a Mod Manager? For one thing making mods work depends on the order in which each mod is loaded when the game starts, this is called naturally a Load Order. Each mod is loaded in order and the latest overwrites any changes it needs to from the previous ones. That alone will tell you that a Load Order is very important. Thankfully FOMM (Fallout Mod Manager) will handle your load order automatically. Here is a look at my current FOMM Load Order or at least part of it:

Looking at this you can see that naturally Fallout 3 is loaded first and then all other mods including the DLC addons. Regarding the addons you need to move them out of the GFWL folder and into c:\wherever\Fallout3\Data. This is so FOMM and indeed other mods can actually see the DLC addons.

The second reason you need a mod manager is some mods will break your game. There is no avoiding the fact that two mods attempting to alter the same data will have a fight and you will end up crashed to desktop. The mod manager is invaluable in that you can simply uncheck a box next to a mod and disable it. This way if the game is crashing (more than usual) you can disable mods and enable them one after another to see which one is causing all the trouble. There are however mods that are designed to alter the same data and do work together, I will cover them later.

The second thing you need is FOSE or Fallout 3 Script Extender which you can find here: http://fose.silverlock.org/ . FOSE allows mods to alter the actual mechanics of the game adding new features and functionality not present in the Vanilla game. FOSE is not compatible with Games for windows live so launching with FOSE will disable that, sorry Achievement junkies. Thats all there is for FOSE, simply install it and forget about it. You will also note that FOMM now has 'Launch FOSE' as a button now, you will use this to launch Fallout 3 from now on. Well you don't need to but it's just better to get into that habit, it also bypasses the launcher so say goodbye to the disc check.

Last thing and probably the most important is FO3Edit which you can find here: http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=637 . FO3Edit allows your mods to all get along by creating something called a Merged Patch. FO3Edit runs the Load Order and then finds areas where mods are editing the same values and attempts to resolve them.

Copy FO3Edit somewhere easy to find, I like to put it in the Bethesda directory. Then you want to copy and paste FO3Edit twice. Rename one copy to FO3MasterRestore and the other to FO3MasterUpdate, FO3 is a clever program that launches in the mode it's named to. When installing mods the routine you need to get into is thus: Load FOMM, Click Help on the toolbar then select Check for Update. Make sure all the mods you want to play are enabled with the check boxes. Click the button Auto Sort, this will hopefully put your Load Order in the correct sequence. Exit FOMM. Load FO3Edit. Double check all the mods you want are enabled and click the OK box. When FO3Edit has finished right click anywhere on the Load Order in the left panel. Select Create Merged Patch, call it anything you like I usually use Merged as a name. Exit FO3Edit. Load FOMM. Scroll to the bottom of the Load Order and you will see the new patch/mod. Check it to enable it. Exit FOMM. Load FO3MasterUpdate and let it do it's job. Thats it. Load up FOMM again and click Lauch FOSE to start the game. When you want to change your mods what you do is run FO3MasterRestore, then load FOMM and delete your Merged Patch. Install your new mods then repeat as above. Always run MasterRestore before removing mods and always run MasterUpdate after installing new ones, it's really quite simple.

So we have finished how to install, manage and run your mods. So now you want some mods yes?

Vital mods, these are essential as far as I am concerned:

DarNifiedUI http://forums.bethsoft.com/?showtopic=984736 This comes packaged as a FOMOD which means you can use FOMM's Package Manager to install it. Makes the interface much smaller and look much nicer on a PC monitor.

CASM or Cipscis's Automatic Save Manager http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=3729 . The Autosave in Fallout 3 is broken. It will cause crash to desktop's and might even corrupt your save files. Open the options menu, go to gameplay and disable it completely. Then activate this mod you can completely customise how often and when your game is saved. One word of caution is to always make a new save never overwrite an old one, this goes for vanilla as well. Fallout 3 doesn't like overwriting at all. Best thing about CASM is that it is customizable in game using the Pipboy.

Overhaul mods, these change the actual Fallout 3 game to varying degrees:

FWE or Fallout 3 Wanderers Edition http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=2761 comes as a FOMOD for easy installation. FWE offers a huge amount of changes such as new weapons, armors and enemies along with alternate starts. You can play as a Raider or a Ghoul. Everything is balanced so the Wasteland is a lot more brutal and you actually NEED to drink water, eat and sleep. You can of course fully customize the changes in the Pipboy and you can go back to vanilla if you prefer.

FOOK or Fallout Overhaul Kit http://www.yourfook.com/downloads/ currently the overhaul I am enjoying which adds more weapons and clutter to the FO3 world. There are more types of food, drink and drugs. Opening the menu with the O key will allow you to customize things like FWE such as experience, damage etc.

Environment mods, this is how the game actually looks.

NMC's Texture Pack http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=12056 changes a huge amount of textures in the game. I run the performance pack myself and it runs pretty well on a Radeon HD4850 512MB. If you have a colossus of a PC then obviously the Full pack is going to look amazing.

Project Beauty HD http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=6341 This mod is wrongly named as the author admits. What this mod does is change almost every face in the game to match the lore of Fallout and in many places make corrections to them. Lot's and lots of tiny changes that really work well.

Enhanced Weather http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=6170 Add rain and snow to the Wasteland and if you choose radioactive rain and snow.

Dynamic Weather http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=10607 This is an add on to Enhanced Weather. Sandstorms you cant even see ten feet in front of you? Oh yes.

Gameplay mods, yup. These change the game.

Martigen's Mutant Mod http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=3211 This brings more creatures to the Wasteland along with more customization with regard to creature spawns. It's hard to describe the effect this mod has on the game. It makes the Wasteland more interesting and very much more lethal but again you can change that.

Weapon Mod Kits http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=3388 so good that Obsidian are including it in Fallout: New Vegas. Add Silencers, Extended Magazines, Laser Sights, Scopes and Auto-Fire to existing weapons.

Energy Visuals Enhanced http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=8340 as the name implies it seriously overhauls the lasers and other energy weapons in the game. (Integrated in FOOK)

I have to mention FOIP http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=4968 If you want to combine FOOK and WMK and Mart's Mutant Mod then you need one of the patches there. On the FOIP page you will find patches for most of the major mod combinations however I would avoid combining FWE and FOOK, they just don't play well together.

Lastly make sure Fallout 3 can use more than 2GB of ram. Instructions here http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=12031 . Next go to My Documents/My Games and find the Fallout 3 ini. Edit this:

uInterior Cell Buffer=3

uExterior Cell Buffer=36

iPreloadSizeLimit=26214400

To this:

uInterior Cell Buffer=9

uExterior Cell Buffer=102

iPreloadSizeLimit=104857600

Happy killing!

Terry Pratchett's Going Postal

2010-06-02T00:31:00.003+01:00

I've loved Terry Pratchett's Discworld ever since I read the wonderful Guards, Guards! So I was overjoyed when Sky decided to adapt some of his novels to television. So far though they have been a little hit-and-miss in my opinion. While Hogfather was a perfect Christmas romp, not many can argue that it was toned down a lot from the original book to make it more family friendly. Still it was enjoyable and the story was still there, plus it had some excellent performances especially from Ian Richardson as the voice of Death (note the capital D) and Joss Ackland put in a great turn as Archchancellor Ridcully. He definitely got the right level of shouting at the very least. Sky followed this up with The Colour of Magic which I also enjoyed despite the rather bizarre casting of Sir David Jason as Rincewind. Tim Curry here stole the show as you can expect and again the story was there but a little trimmed for many fans' tastes.

So we come to the latest production which goes to almost the end of the Discworld run, Going Postal. Now let's get one thing out of the way first. As a novel we all have an idea of how these characters look in our heads so no matter who is cast it will conflict with that mental image. I can confidently say however that after you have seen Going Postal you will be more than happy with the cast and their performances. Going Postal represents a time when the Discworld is embracing new technology, in this case the Clacks which is similar to Morse code but using semaphore towers. However the company that runs the Clacks, the Grand Trunk is being mismanaged after a corporate takeover and is being run into the ground. Lord Vetinari, not one to be inconvenienced has decided to resurrect the Post Office as competition however he needs just the right man to do it. Enter con-man Moist Von Lipwig played by the wonderfully charismatic Richard Coyle. Vetinari (played by the wonderful Charles Dance) and his assistant Drumknott (Steve Pemberton in an almost League of Gentlemen portrayal) present Moist with an offer he cant refuse.

As we follow Moist's story the production team really show they have grown now. There is very little CGI other than the Ankh-Morpork skyline and most of the scenes are done with good set work and great costuming, it's never looked quite this good. Even the Watch look as shabby as they should compared to the brightly polished breastplates they sported in Hogfather. Most of all it's the cast that really bring this to life. While the previous cast's used in Hogfather and The Colour of Magic were fine you could tell there were people in there that didn't really 'get' their characters. No more obvious is this with Jeremy Irons who played Vetinari in TCOM who introduced a lisp to the character that left many fans baffled. While Irons certainly had the look of Vetinari he didn't have the delivery that Dance has. Charles Dance actually nails Vetinari spot on even down to the way the man carries himself. Ignore the superficial differences Dance delivers a performance far beyond what Irons did especially in the scenes with Reacher Gilt (David Suchet).

One of the real stars of Going Postal was of course Mr Pump the Golem and the rest of the Golem workforce. Now a few people expressed concern about them from pre-release shots I can happily say that when you see them in action you will manage to suspend your disbelief. They managed to put a lot of emotion into Mr Pump's face that you manage to forget it's a man in a rubber suit and think of him as a slab of clay. It reminded me a lot of Marvin from The Hitchikers Guide TV show in fact. Also the march of the Golem's certainly put a smile on my face.

Now i'm not saying everything was perfect it wasn't. There were a lot of sub-plots that were omitted from the book but I guess we have to expect that as they have to fit it into a TV Movie. There is no Anghammarad for example and the running joke about who is the werewolf in the watch has been lost as it's revealed to be Angua in the first 5 mins of the show which is a shame. It would have been a perfect excuse to use Corporal Nobbs again. Still Ingrid Berdal looks the part so brilliantly I can forgive that. Also Mr Gryle is decidedly not intimidating looking but i'm guessing that was intentional making him look like a part of the old world while the Discworld continues to move forward. At least thats what i'm hoping anyway.

Other than the trimming of the plot there is hardly anything not to like about Going Postal. I can safely say it's the best adaptation of a Pratchett novel made yet and I have nothing but praise for the whole production team. It was a marvelous piece of television and I can only hope they will get most of the cast back and start working on the direct sequel Making Money. I can't think of a better team to be working on this franchise and long may it continue. As long as it's still being mucked about with by Terry Pratchett of course.

Now please Sky hurry up with the Blu-Ray I can't wait to watch it again in it's entirety. It's a great example that Sky CAN make good television when they want to. Lets hope the re-launch of Blakes 7 is handled with this much care.

Watching a meme blossom.

2010-05-30T01:22:00.000+01:00

The game Phalanx was a forgettable game. It was a very average shooter in a time when shooters were more common than wankers. The one thing Phalanx is remembered for is the frankly bizzare choice of artwork that became known as Banjoman:

Yes it had nothing to do with the game. It was a legend. Now Banjoman is getting a revival as Phalanx is now on Xbox live. Here are some pics to get started:

Thanks to Cemedee, Navagon and everyone on the GOG forums.

Video games can never be art. Possibly. Or you are looking in the wrong places.

2010-05-25T19:08:00.002+01:00

Roger Ebert famously said this line and when he originally did a great many game fans balked and fired accusations at him. He recently clarified his comments on his blog and I found it a very good read. It shows just how someone can come to that conclusion when they don't play games and see nothing of value in them. Mr Ebert is merely making a statement based on his own opinion and thats something we all have the right to do. It might be wrong but he has that right. He's also not entirely wrong. On his blog he put up a video of Kellee Santiago attempting a counter point that games were in-fact art. I found myself actually disagreeing with her. Her point was not helped by the frankly awful evidence she provided with Waco: Resurrection, Braid and Flower. The Waco game is a nothing game it's frankly appalling both in execution and tone. Braid and Flower are clearly trying so hard to BE art that they manage to fail completely. I have Braid, it's an amusing little diversion but nothing more. It is what it is which is a cheap indie game. You will get some fun out of it for a little while but it wont ever be in your mind to recommend as a must-have game.

Braid - as exciting as it looks

Given the evidence provided by Miss Santiago it's no surprise that Mr Ebert remained unconvinced. I certainly would be. I believe far more compelling evidence can be presented and mostly it wont be found in the ranks of indie produced games. Games become close to art when the designers pull out all the stops to do something that Hollywood can't without a truly astronomical budget and thats create entire worlds. More than that worlds where you the player actually have a say in the story. I'm not talking about the Halo's or God of War's because there you are playing a set story the designers want you to play. I'm talking about what we consider sandbox games. If I wanted to impress Mr Ebert I would show him Fallout 3. The beauty of Fallout 3 is that after you have finished your origin (which exists only to develop the character that you want to play not what the designer wanted you to play) you enter a massive wasteland that represents the ruins of Washington DC, destroyed in a global nuclear war.

Now thats pretty!

Now there is nothing particularly original about Fallout 3. It's the third game in the series after all and it doesn't so much nod to Mad Max but fully bow before it. What Fallout 3 does is put the game fully in the gamers hands. Sure there is a story that Bethesda spent months writing but you don't have to play it. You can go almost anywhere on the map you like, you can just spend hours wandering and exploring and the feeling is wonderful. This is an experience that movies and books simply can't deliver. With a movie or a novel you are always taking the writers journey. Videogames can create the same worlds with that same level of detail but you can make your own story in that world. That is the magic of the videogame. Even games that are heavily scripted like BioWare's Dragon Age: Origins provides essential choices to the player that effect both the beginning and the ending of the story so while all players will experience mostly the same journey the ending and potential effects the player had can fundamentally change that world. It will be interesting to see just how much of those choices will be carried over to Dragon Age 2. Dragon Age is also an excellent example of the level of detail a game can have lavished upon it. From the quality writing and voice acting to the depth that has been written into the world, the world of Dragon Age is as compelling as The Lord of the Rings.

Loghain disapproves

Of course the real question is can any of this be considered art? I would guess that would be subjective. Can a movie be considered art? Can a piece of music be considered art? If so then yes games can be considered art as they are simply another medium. Publishers hold the real power when it comes to games and they are only interested in the bottom line of profit. This means that the vast majority of games will be made to be marketed at the blockbuster crowd. There will always be games like Modern Warfare 2, Halo, Gears of War because these games sell well. Why? The same reason the latest mindless action movie will sell, sometimes we just want to be entertained and if guns and explosions entertain us then so be it. It's a mistake to put all games into this category though. There will also be gems out there like Fallout 3, Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Deus Ex, Heavy Rain and Alan Wake where the publisher is ready to take a risk on something different. What I would say to Mr Ebert is that if you are going to make a judgement on games as an art form then at least pick something to look at that takes advantage of the format. The beauty, the art in say Deus Ex is not in the combat or the graphics or the story. It's placing the power of choice in the gamers hands. You can just shoot your way into the complex but if you don't want to you don't have to. Go and sneak in via the air vents with some lock-picking tools or try hacking the security system to turn the sentry guns against your enemies. Hell just try to do anything the game designer didn't expect you to do.

If you are looking to find art in games you wont find it in the equivalent of a Hollywood action movie and you wont find it in a game that is trying way too hard to be art.

Mr Ebert's original comments can be found here: http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2010/04/video_games_can_never_be_art.html

Direct Download Update

2010-05-09T03:44:00.000+01:00

I have been using the Direct Download services for a longer time now and I think it's time to revise the list.

Gamersgate:

Really I want to say Gamersgate is the number one direct download site. They ain't, at least not yet. The thing about Gamersgate is they pay attention to every e-mail and every Twitter, they want to be number one and they are doing it in the right way. Talking to customers. If number one was based on trying hard Gamersgate would win by a landslide.

Direct 2 Drive:

I love how D2D are on twitter. Thats how to get an interest and keep it going. The D2D guys keep throwing out competitions and trivia's to the people on twitter and they fix technical problems. If you ask a question to the D2D guys you can expect an answer that day and thats all we ask. There are some issues like regional restrictions. I was not able to buy the Civilization 4 pack on D2D despite the fact it was EU. Evidently 2KGames have decided some parts of the EU are ok.

Steam:

The Leviathan. Steam cannot be beaten when it comes to sales. GTA: VC was €2.50 in a Steam sale. Steam lags behind everyone when it comes to customer service. Steam are number one and they don't need to try. If you ever have a problem like I did with Steam then expect to be without all your games. Steam can take up to a Month to resolve a despute. Thats not a good thing when all your games are dependent on your account.

Impulse:

We have had enough now Brad. Impulse started with the best intentions. It was going to be Steam but nice. These days you will be lucky to buy a game on Impulse. Regional Restrictions. Stardock negotiate really good deals for the US but they don't bother with the rest of the world. They keep annoying me on Twitter, saying I am just bitter. At the end of the day Stardock spend more money on shutting people up on Twitter than they do in negotiations.

Congratulations Ubisoft!

2010-03-09T16:19:00.000Z

Here I am preaching the death of the PC as mainstream gaming format and Ubisoft have done the greatest thing possible to remove DRM from the industry completely. Ubisoft have finally proved beyond a shadow of any doubt that DRM does not work to prevent piracy but instead exists simply to control the market, remove second-hand sales and punish people who have actually paid for the game. Over the last weekend and in fact still ongoing is a display of corporate greed and arrogance that has not been seen since Gordon Gekko. Let me explain.

Ubisoft announced proudly that they were going to give up DRM (Digital Restriction Management) in favour of a new service for their customers that would allow game saves to be stored online while tracking achievements and providing online play. This of course sounded wonderful. Just like EA and Microsoft have been doing for quite a while now. However the catch with Ubisoft's system is that to play a game you actually need to be connected to the internet so the game would be able to authenticate with Ubisoft's online servers. This is not checking authentication once upon loading but a constant system of authentication pings sent to and from the online servers. If one fails the game will dump you out and you will have to wait while the system attempts to reconnect.

The gaming industry was in uproar about this as Ubisoft applied this not only to online play but single player gaming as well. Journalists and gamers asked the obvious questions.

"What about people without an internet connection?" Ubisoft said that EVERYONE has access to the internet.
"What about people with unstable connections?" Not a problem the games will have a connection grace period.
"What about the servers, will they be able to cope with the load of hundreds of thousands of people all pinging at the same time?" Of course, they wouldn't possibly implement this system if they didn't think the system could cope with it.

In short Ubisoft called all the people asking questions silly billys, gave them lollipops and sent them home.

"But what about pirates?" One brave little munchkin dared to ask. "Wont they be able to play without having to put up with this?" Hoho you little scamp. Because the game requires a constant connection pirates can't possibly play the game. The system is foolproof and we all know that pirates are complete fools who cant even spell their names properly.

So ignoring for a moment the niché title Silent Hunter V that debuted on the new DRM system (For that is what it is merely dressed up in different wording), Assassins Creed 2 was launched on the PC and from day one a HUGE number of people have been unable to play the game. The game is attempting to call home but no one is picking up on the other end of the line. The interwebz was patient at first to be fair. Teething problems were blamed and everyone was willing to give Ubisoft time to get it sorted out. On Monday that grace period had run out and now the peasents are revolting. They are demanding answers now. And Ubisoft seem to be telling them to eat cake.

At first Ubisoft claimed it was due to unexpectedly high demand on their servers. Servers customers were assured were more than capable of running the service. Did pirates magically code their own versions of the game and were trying to connect with the servers? Thats the only possible explanation given it's Ubisoft who manufactures the game and they should know how many copies of the game were distributed.

Soon after Ubisoft claimed they had come under attack by hackers. Well thats handy as if it was the evil, filthy hackers then Ubisoft can't possibly be blamed for all this. Except of course they can, they claimed this service was implemented to protect themselves from these very same evil, filthy hackers. Are you telling me in the year 2010 a company the size of Ubisoft cannot put in place measures to protect themselves from a simple DoS attack?

Around this time was when a crack for the game started floating around on the Net. It was not complete but cracker group Skid-Row had managed to produce a not 100% but working crack. PIRATES WERE NOW PLAYING THE GAME! Legitimate customers who had paid for the game were still unable to play it while people who had downloaded it illegally were having a ball. The current rumor floating around is that cracker group Razer1911 will have a 100% working crack by Tuesday night. At first Ubisoft claimed the crack circulating would not allow the game to fully function and then bafflingly they made a second announcement to say THERE IS NO CRACK. Now thats quality ignoring facts folks.

What we are witnessing now is a full on PR disaster for one of the giants of the industry. Still no official announcement from Ubisoft on how long it will take to get the servers up and running, constant flip flopping about the reason why the servers are not working (There is an attack or there isn't one?) and more importantly absolutely no one in Ubisoft upper management has come forward to accept any blame for this fiasco. Ubisoft have even dared to say that the problem has only affected 5% of customers. Ignoring the fact that 5% is too many by anyone's standards that doesn't explain why the moderators on the Ubisoft forum attempted to hide the fact that the complaint thread had 106,000 views before it was 'cleaned up'. The new complaint thread is at 22,000 views and rising.

The US version has launched today and the industry, not to mention Ubisoft executives are holding their breaths to see what happens. If the events in Europe are to be repeated in the land of the lawyer then we could indeed be looking at the beginning of a big fall for Ubisoft. A colossal one in fact.

As I implied earlier it is a richly deserved fall. Ubisoft were warned this would be a disaster and in their paranoid and arrogant minds they went ahead with it anyway. The only good that will come from this is that other publishers in the industry would have been looking at Ubisoft's new DRM solution and they have seen it turn into one of the biggest disasters in gaming history. If anything we can now expect the big boys like Activision and Atari loosen the reigns on their DRM just show they can show customers that while they are bad they are no where near as bad as Ubisoft.

Enjoy the pie Ubisoft, I hope it's as bitter tasting as it looks.

So this is the beginning of the end...

2010-03-08T01:22:00.000Z

Thats right my people. The PC is dead, it has been murdered in a fashion not unlike Julius Caesar, it has been stabbed in the back by it's closest friends. Microsoft, Apple, Sony, Nintendo, Ubisoft, Activision. Companies that grew rich and fat off the humble PC have now turned on it. Intel, AMD and Nvidia the people who actually make the guts of every PC have done the same. Over the next few years we will see the slow and painful death of a system that has been present in gaming since it's humble beginning.

The DRM debacle is the first indication. PC gamers are treated like criminals by almost every publisher. There is no market on Earth that exists by hating it's own customers so much. Cliff Blezinski of EPIC games was the first to turn his back on the PC market by saying that ANYONE with Internet Explorer is a pirate. EPIC of course made their fortune on the PC with games like Unreal and Jazz Jackrabbit. Evidently EPIC and Cliffy think they didn't earn enough and now they no longer make PC games. The current situation with Ubisoft highlights how much this hatred exists. A console gamer buys Assassins Creed 2 on the 360 and can play it any time he likes. The PC version costs exactly the same but you need to be online at all times to play it. If not no game for you. If like this weekend Ubisoft's servers are down then you can't play that game at all and Ubisoft do not give a shit about it. Why is that? Why make the PC suffer the most draconian DRM in history? To make you buy the 360 version.

The PC is now viewed by the mainstream corporate culture as a hotbed of piracy and anyone there is a filthy cracker. On consoles they can be controlled and this is all about control. Why is it that sales on DD services like Steam and Impulse are ignored from the sales charts when Modern Warfare 2 was the biggest selling game on Steam for 6 weeks? MW2 only sold 600,000 copies on the PC we are told but that figure does not include the download sales which I am guessing would probably eclipse the 360 sales. The PC is made to look bad and one of the main haters of the PC is.. Microsoft. Microsoft are the ones who see PC games and steal them to make them 360 exclusives. Halo 3? Still no PC version. Gears of War 2? Never going to be a PC version. Alan Wake? 360 exclusive. Microsoft only care about the 360 these days and they are making the PC suffer for it.

Why do Microsoft care? They recently went into partnership with Apple of all people. Ever since Apple adopted the Intel chipset they have been gaining in the PC market. Now people love Mac's and with good reason. They do what they do very well. However Apple seek to control EVERYTHING on their systems. They charge a high price for their stuff and take a dim view of anyone with a competing product. Microsoft on the other hand hasn't cared about anything that gets put on Windows. This is why the PC is now the home of the mod community and the indie games revolution that is going on right now. Mods and Indie games are exactly what big publishers and Apple want to squash, which is why the PC is being killed off.

2 years. Thats what I think it will take for Microsoft to implement draconian Apple style control into Windows. The PC market will be non-existent and all games will be on the consoles. Indie games will either not exist or will be distributed via the Apple app store (with a fat wad going to apple). Mods will not exist or they will be sold as DLC for games with most of the money going to the publishers. I hope I am wrong but from what I have seen from Activision and Ubisoft it's exactly where the industry is going.

Super Street Fighter IV

2010-02-28T03:24:00.000Z

Anyone who knows me knows I love Street Fighter. I always have and always will.
I am sure you have seen this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If-CGRkFtX8
Now there is Super Street Fighter IV. Embrace it! Love it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zY1WGnnlLk

Engerland! Engerland!

2010-02-28T03:07:00.002Z

So the squad is announced. And once again Bobby Zamora is overlooked in favour of Emile Hesky. Emile fucking Heskey?? Don't get me wrong I am sure he is a lovely bloke but how does he get included in every World Cup squad when he doesn't even play? Even the Villa fans want shot of him.

Emile Heskey

Current status: Bench. Goals: 3.

Bobby Zamora

Current status: First Team. Goals: 15.

Fabio you say you choose on form. Lies.

Aliens Vs Predator

2010-02-21T04:21:00.001Z

I'm really rather sick of seeing these bad reviews from the advert that is Game Informer and "I suck Microsoft's Cock" Gamespot. You know something? I really, really like this game.

Yes it's old school but then the fans demanded it. You cannot possibly rate a game poor when it is exactly what the fans wanted. Innovative? Most reviewers wouldn't know it if it slapped them in the face. Halo is not innovative, Gears of War is not Innovative. What is innovative? Making a game that is better than both of Paul Wank Stain Anderson's movies.

Yes the game uses health packs, is every game supposed to use regenerating shields now? Yes the Alien is disorienting to use but it's supposed to be it's ALIEN! Fact remains when you master the Alien you can beat anyone. Graphics? Why is the game getting slated for it? It looks beautiful! Not to mention it looks bloody amazing on DX11 PC's but then they never bothered to review that version.

If you dislike Aliens Vs Predator then quite frankly Rebellion did not make the game for you. For the people they did, it's ambrosia. Aliens Vs Predator is frankly brilliant and everyone I have recommended it to has also liked it. Game Informer and Gamespot can go and spin on it.

Games journalists are cunts

2009-12-13T23:56:00.000Z

There really is no easy way to sugarcoat that fact. Harsh language but it truly is accurate. When people want to become journalists they have to go through a long hard road of freelancing before hopefully being picked up by a local newspaper then eventually they may go on to be on a major news network or paper. When people want to become a games journalist they want games for free. It's not hard to be picked up by any number of gaming review sites and they all promise free stuff but you all have to remember that 5/10 is a BAD score and anything below that HAS to come from an indie studio because they don't want to stop the flow of free stuff.

Just look at SpikeTV's VGA's. Sure Uncharted 2 is a fine game. Very enjoyable but game of the year? GAME OF THE YEAR??? How much exactly did Sony pay for that trophy? I weep. There is no surprise the gaming industry is not taken seriously, why would you when the experts ignore actual quality? Not one games journalist has any integrity. They forget that games cost MONEY and they get games for free that are poor but they haven't paid for them so they call them average. Look at Left 4 Dead, it's an average game. Enjoyable yes but I know a great many people who bought the game for the Xbox360 and were extremely dissapointed with it. Yet the Journalists heaped praise on it, giving award after award to it, not for a second caring that some kid saved all his money for a month to buy it on their recommendation.

I remember EDGE Magazine coming under fire for having a huge amount of games being scored 6/10. So EDGE decided to make 5/10 average and started with Deep Fear on the Sega Saturn. Deep Fear was of course the last Pal release on the Sega Saturn, a console EDGE had spent their entire print run saying was utter and complete cowpat. We all know EDGE were on the Sony Payroll and they just couldn't resist sending the Saturn off with a final kick in the teeth even though Deep Fear was actually far better than Resident Evil which they scored 9/10. When I was working for CEX a reviewer from EDGE magazine came in the store, we brought up the review and he started claiming that it was part of their re-format that made 5/10 average and that Deep Fear was an average game. Oh how we hurled abuse at the slimy little shite who was only in there I might add to sell all the free stuff he was given.

I don't review games for a living, thank god I don't as the stream of freh would quickly dry up. But if someone asks me if a game is good or not I will tell them its shit or its worth a look. Why is that? Because I paid REAL MONEY for the game. As soon as someone becomes a games journalist they forget about money because everything they get is free. Suddenly crap becomes niche, average becomes worth buying and good becomes GAME OF THE FUCKING YEAR.

If you want a review of a game then ask someone you know. All these shits that call themselves journalists will lie to your face while company x stuffs their pockets with free shit. Games journalism is a joke, never forget that.

The 2009 Delixe awards

2009-12-11T22:06:00.010Z

Or the Lixie's for short. There will be a bad awards later with more Bobby, but no Bobby this time this is the best of the best of 2009 IN MY OPINION!! I cant stress that enough. These are the games I most enjoyed in 2009 and you might totally disagree with and thats your right and I encourage you to do that. We are after all a democracy. Unless you live in Ireland. You might absolutely hate what I am about to say but with all due respect stick it. There is one voter and thats me so sit back and enjoy my picks of 2009.

First Person Shooter

The winner here actually features more sneaking than shooting but never the less it did the best job of putting me in a role. Absolutely lovely graphics and a great soundtrack, not to mention featuring his almighty surlyness himself Mr Vin Diesel. Yes the winner of the Lixie for First Person Game of the Year is The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena.

For 29.99 you got two games. Assault on Dark Athena and the prequel Escape from Butcher Bay Enhanced which was amazing value for money in these days of Modern Warfare 2. A First Person Game needs to tax both your brain and your trigger fingers and in this respect Riddick was a triumph. There were factors against the game. Like Atari's use of TAGES DRM and limited activations but the game won through in the end. Great story, beautiful visuals, quality voice acting whats not to love? If you don't own Riddick then you really should, it's one of the best games in recent years and firmly my choice for an award.

Runners up:

Modern Warfare 2: Only missed out thanks to Steamworks, and a criminally short single player game.
Borderlands: Great visuals but sadly lacking outside co-op.
Left 4 Dead 2: You just cant win an award for an expansion pack.

Role Playing Game

A lot of you will accuse me of taking the easy option here but I don't really care. look at my face! "Bothered!". I fly my flag for Bioware and once again they have not let me down, no one makes an adventure game look and play like a big budget movie like they do. Role Playing Game of the year is Dragon Age: Origins.

Boasting an all-star voice cast (including Claudia Black <3), beautiful visuals and an interface that can be played like Knights of the Old Republic or Baldur's Gate Dragon Age: Origins proves that Bioware are the masters of the Role Playing Game. The beauty of every Bioware game is that they make you feel like you are the star of your own movie. Some scenes in Dragon Age are up there with Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings. But most of all its the characters you grow to love. Bioware invest so much in them, they all have a unique story to tell. Something many TV and Movie writers would be well to take note of. Dragon Age: Origins will swallow a good week of your life and you will love every minute of it.

Runner up:

The Witcher: Truly amazing game and would have been number one if not for Dragon Age.

Stategy Game

Ah possibly my favourite genre. There is a fine line between fun and work in strategy games. The Europa Universalis games for example were too much like work for me, all those maps and lines... eugh. One game got everything right with the strategy and the fun and that game was Empire: Total War.

I was always a fan of the TV series Sharpe and Empire brings it to life. There is a massively deep hole of strategy and resource management to fall into here but it is balanced with a glorious battlefield game. Total War was always known for its huge body count and Empire does not disapoint, in fact there is an achievement for 1 million kills. The strategy is there but you don't really look for it. All that matters is there is you and an enemy and 10,000 men to send into their deaths. I defy anyone to not like having thousands of men at their command and most importantly the graphics are beautiful. The downside is you will need a good PC to run this game and console players can just forget it. Empire: Total War I salute you for being uncompromising. You are a PC game and you love it, just like Crysis before you.

Runners up:

Sins of a Solar Empire: Entrenchment: You cant win with an expansion pack. Rules is rules.
Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War 2: Poor single player and boring multi ruin a great game.
Red Alert 3: Uprising: Perfect update to a perfect game but missing any multiplayer.

Fighting Game

There was only ever going to be one winner here. Capcom perfected 1 on 1 fighting back in 1991 and people still to this day try and emulate it. They try and fail because there will always be Street Fighter. No fighting game ever not Mortal Kombat, not Tekken and not Soul Calibur can boast the characters that Street Fighter can. Even someone who has never played Street Fighter will know who Ryu and Ken are. Street Fighter is a finely balanced masterpiece and Street Fighter IV is a natural evolution.

The newbs love it, the pro's love it and that makes it the perfect fighting game in my book. Next years sees the release of Super Street Fighter IV and you bet I will be first in line. Hell they could release Super Street Fighter IV Turbo and I will be queuing for that as well. Keep it coming Capcom!

Runner up:

BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger: The creators of Guilty Gear give Capcom a damn fine run for their money.
Marvel Vs Capcom 2: All time classic now on XBLA but not improved.

Racing Game

The PC has been bereft of decent racers while the consoles have enjoyed teasers of GT5 and Xbox360 owners have had Forza. Luckily or unluckily for Black Box who were closed down by EA (One too many shit games!), EA created a new studio for driving games and Need For Speed: Shift was born. Shift is everything the NFS games should have been. Great cars, superb graphics and no bloody EA TRAX music. Most importantly the game is a real drivers game for once. There is power sliding but only in drift events, at other times you are forced on the racing line. This is SRS BSNS!

Truly magnificent return to form for a franchise that was being greeted like a turd in a pram. Say what you like about Shift, I like it and its the best racing game this year.

Runner up:

Race On: If simulation is your thing then you cant beat this. Expect to spin out a lot.

Game of the Year

So, so many choices. All the winners before could stake a claim to game of the year. However there is one game that was so ball grabbingly good that it had to win. A small studio in England managed to do what dozens of huge budget studios failed to do. They made a decent Super Hero game. Step forward Rocksteady and the truly astonishingly good Batman: Arkahm Asylum.

Never before has any studio ever paid that much attention to the licence. Never before have they perfectly cast the characters just how the fans know them (Kevin Conroy as Batman and Mark Hamill as Joker). This is not a game, it is a love letter to Batman and DC Comics. Rocksteady treated everything with the utmost care and made sure that nothing would be questioned by the fans. Even bringing back Arleen Sorkin as Harley Quinn when WB had dumped her long ago because in the fans eyes she IS Harley Quinn. I wish all the best to Rocksteady, I really hope they have a long, long future ahead of them as we are all sick and tired of lazy licence ports these days. Lets hope Rocksteady have Superman and Green Lantern on the way. You win one Internet Rocksteady.

Developer of the Year

Not hard to guess. Rocksteady. It's a long time since the UK has been anything on the Games atlas. Infogrammes got revenge for the battle of Trafalgar by systematically destroying the UK games industry and it has taken decades to recover. Yet here we are with a UK developer making game of the year.Who knows, this might actually be a boom again in the UK gaming industry and we may yet see games like Dungeon Keeper and X-Com return. Until that day, Rocksteady I salute you! Keep flying the flag.

Publisher of the Year

Again this was not hard. Here we are looking for a Publisher who puts their customers first above all else, even profit! That award can only go to EA. EA in the past have been a massive ugly organisim that has swallowed whole studios just to own IP's. Somewhere along the line EA absorbed some of their niceness. It's changed EA and now EA say things like "People using Torrents are potential customers" and "Our customers do not like DRM so we are investing in Downloadable content to make people want to buy the game". Gaa? EA? Yes indeed. In fact EA have said they have one target in their sights and that is Activision and they need us to help them take Activision down. Thats a battle cry and I am answering the call! EA take my award!

Greedy Bastards

2009-12-01T04:14:00.002Z

In a recent interview Gabe Newell of Valve noted that game sales increased by up to 200% during Steam sales. It's not rocket science is it really? You lower the cost of a product and therefore make it more affordable to the masses and increase your sales and increase overall revenue as long as you cover the overheads of production. Thats pretty much retail 101 there. Major Supermarkets at the moment are complaining about lower revenue due to the economic recession and yet low cost brands like Lidl and Aldi are booming. Why? Because Lidl and Aldi buy cheap and sell cheap and at times like these people can do without the occasional premium brand label. The games market is no exception to the economic downturn and all the big companies are laying off staff left, right and center hoping to cut operating costs. Yet the prices are still high, why is that? The simple answer is that retail economics do not factor into publisher thinking. As far as Activision are concerned Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is a product thats worth €59.99 and €59.99 is going to be the price they want to charge for it.

Yes we are back to our old friend Bobby Kotick again but in this respect he is not alone, almost all games publishers are guilty of inflating the prices of games and most importantly maintaining those high costs. Remember that most publishers still see their market as being 14 - 18 and therefore it will be the parents that purchase games. With this reasoning they assume that a middle income family will more than be able to afford to buy little Timmy the latest games every month. The reason I mention Bobby again is because he has taken this a step further by raising the costs further and further attempting to gouge money with games like Guitar Hero and the endless amount of peripherals people are required to buy let alone the downloadable music tracks.

Piracy is ALWAYS thrown up as the chief reason why prices are so high. The poor publisher has to protect their investment by covering the costs of lost sales and by investing in digital rights management systems to ensure their games are not pirated. But this is where the argument falls apart. Valve say that sales of games hit the roof when the costs are lowered. Therefore it's reasonable to assume that some of those sales have gone to people who have pirated the game in the past. Normally you sell 100 units but in a sale you sell 2000, so where did those additional sales come from if not sales you would not normally have? I put it to the publishers that people WANT to buy their games, they have downloaded them illegally because they cannot afford the price you are charging currently but when the price is lowered they do. I am not saying that games should be at a constant sale level as that would make little sense financially however it does say that between the sale price of €9.99 and the full price of €49.99 there has to be a happy medium where customers and publishers can meet.

Publishers generally base their price on a profit forecast. For example EA launched Need For Speed: Shift for €49.99. They probably assume they will sell around 800,000 copies of the game at that price based on the brand and out of that final figure you remove development, advertisement and publishing costs and EA arrived at a figure that would return a healthy profit. However I would like to know what would happen if EA factored in sales of 2 million copies at €29.99? Using my guestimate of EA's figures you arrive at just shy of €40 million, by using the cheaper better selling calculation you come to just shy of €60 million. Next you can further increase profit by removing SecuROM copy protection which is always cracked hours after release anyway. Some people are put off by limited activations and invasive DRM, not to mention disc checks which Laptop owners especially hate. Valve have already proved that if you reduce prices you increase sales and by extension lower piracy so why do publishers insist on setting the price extremely high and assume there will be low numbers of sales? Activision said Modern Warfare 2 was the best selling PC game of all time, but how much higher would those figures have been if the price was half what Activision were charging?

Publisher greed is not only hurting new sales but also sales of classic titles. Many games are now available from services such as Steam and GOG which have been available for decades and thus have no further development or publishing costs and yet you see games like the original Call of Duty and Vampire the Masquerade retailing on Steam for €19.99 and on GOG you find truly old games like Heroes of Might and Magic for €9.99. This makes utterly no sense to me. Surely any of these games selling now is pure profit? If the Call of Duty Warchest was just €19.99 i'm sure it would sell bucketloads and yet no, Activision are happy to sit on the games as they don't sell and just get older. Ubisoft are an excellent example of this warped thinking. Up until a few years ago Heroes of Might and Magic languished in what was known as Abandonware, and dozens of sites all offered the game as a free download and Ubisoft were not interested as there was no profit to be made. Then Good Old Games was launched and they told Ubisoft they could update the game to run on Windows Vista and there is a ready market waiting to buy the game even after all these years. Ubisoft agreed and and asked GOG to charge $9.99 for it. Think about that for a second. Ubisoft were earning no money at all from this title and were happy to ignore the game being distributed freely as they believed there was no money to be made from it. Step forward GOG and now Ubisoft wants to charge the same amount for an old DOS game that a lot of modern games do. That there is greed pure and simple. Imagine how many copies Ubisoft would sell if they allowed GOG to drop the price to the more reasonable $5.99? It's all profit! Yet Ubisoft wants the maximum possible profit and once again we come back to Ubisoft thinking low sales + high price.

There is a lot of money to be made with video games these days but the sad fact is that there is far more money to be made if publishers started treating their customers with a little respect and became far more competitive than they are. 2010 is rapidly approaching and I have the horrible feeling that the trend started with Activision will continue and we may see the first €69.99 game at retail. At the same time I can see more development studios closing to maximize profits and figures for piracy increasing. What would be nice is if 2010 was remembered as the year the retail prices dropped to €29.99, publishers recorded record profits and more and more development studios were opened to take advantage of the new boom. I fear we are heading for the former and its not a good destination for a games lover.

The best game intros.

2009-11-29T07:36:00.002Z

This will be very Japan biased but thats because most Japanese publishers come from arcade backrounds and thus know the importance of an attract movie. 10 videos I hope you will agree are absolutely fantastic. This is in no way a top whatever, there are other games out there and other opinions. This is mine.

1. Namco X Capcom

2. Street Fighter IV

3. Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War

4. Sonic Unleashed

5. Warhammer: Mark of Chaos

6. Last Bronx

Last Bronx Intro Videogames via Noolmusic.com

7. Soul Blade

8. Warhammer: Online

9. Gran Turismo 4

10. Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3

Companies that are killing PC gaming

2009-11-28T23:39:00.000Z

Atari, Ubisoft and Activision. Three of the biggest software publishers in the business and yet they are actually destroying the very market they live in. Surely that makes no sense you say but it's true. Each of these companies has tried to maximise profits while absolutely screwing their own customers. Seriously you do not get anywhere by fucking the very people you expect money from, unless you are a prostitute. Lets look at the sins shall we?

Where do I even start with Atari? For one thing they are not Atari they are the French publisher Infogrammes. A couple of years ago Atari liquidated and Infogrammes bought the name then changed their name to Atari. To be honest good riddance to bad rubbish as Atari were a pox on gaming. However it still irks me to see the Atari logo when its Infogrammes. Infogrammes were always an arrogant company and with the new logo they decided to become even more arrogant to fit the image of Atari. Atari view all PC gamers as a cancerous pollip on their anus. They absolutely LOVE DRM, if they could they would even pump more into their games. This came to a head with The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena. You get three installs and no more, once all used up you have to buy another copy of the game. How many times have you installed Windows 7 in the Beta? Or did you just upgrade from XP or Vista to 7? Tough shit Atari call that a new computer and you have no game, buy another. Even EA give people a de-authorisation tool but not Atari, no they think you should just buy another copy as that increases their revenue.Atari also love regional restrictions, oh they love to sell games only in one place and flip the finger to everyone else. Just this weekend Steam were doing a deal on Ghostbusters, it was advertised all over their site but anyone not in the US was having trouble buying it. Atari soon clamped down on that. Atari only want to sell online in the US, those shitty Europeans can go and find a retail copy at full price with TAGES and 3 activations. Atari are at the moment borderline on going bankrupt and are blaming piracy for everything. How about you dickless morons realize you shat in your own well and now the water is poor? If you didn't treat your customers like shit then you might still have customers.

Again it's France... it's almost like the French just hate everyone on earth. But Ubisoft made Assassins Creed and Far Cry, they are awsome you say? Yeah... how many games on your Xbox360 or PS3 actually damage your DVD Drive? None? Ok well A lot of Ubisoft games are bundled at no extra cost with Starforce DRM. Starforce uses a system that spins your drive at alternate speeds to function. This absolutely fucks up any optical drive. Starforce and Ubisoft claim this is not true yet the net is flooded with reports of it. Ubisoft have now dropped Starforce with no explanation (avoiding potential lawsuits). Ubisoft have however jumped into bed with SecruROM as this gives them regional restrictions AND limited activations that Atari enjoy, Ubisoft like this, they like it a lot. Go onto Impulse and try to buy an Ubisoft game, oh you cant because Ubisoft don't want to sell that cheap in Europe. Even if you live in the US and buy from Impulse you still get TAGES downloaded with the game. Hang on a minute... Disc based DRM downloaded with a digital game? Oh yes because TAGES gives them.... yes you guessed limited activations. I actually wish EA would buy Ubisoft. EA treat their customers like customers, unlike Ubisoft who treat them like thieves.

OH HAI!

Do I really need to state a case here? Modern Warfare 2. We were promised by Infinity Ward it was NOT an Xbox360 port. Yet several players have posted pictures of the game trying to connect to Xbox Live!

Just how stupid does Bobby Kotick think PC users are? You make a game for the Xbox360 then poorly port it to the PC with Zero enhancements AND increase the price by €10 because you can? The good news with Activision is that they have put all their money into novelty games like Guitar Hero, DJ Hero etc and as we all know novelty's wear off. This is the company after all that cancelled Brutal Legend then when EA picked the game up they tried to get the game blocked from release. Activision are a nasty company with a horrible troll as their CEO. I wish nothing more than fire and Brimstone upon them all.

Games to watch in 2010

2009-11-28T01:54:00.001Z

2009 has come and gone and it delivered delights like Batman: Arkham Asylum and Street Fighter 4. But all the big games became scared of the monolith that was Modern Warfare 2 and were pushed back to 2010. Here are a few of those games you really need to keep an eye on.

1. Deus Ex 3.

Deus Ex was a monument to gaming. It proved a game could be good as long as it had a decent story no matter how bad the game engine was. Warren Spector may have left the project but Eidos and their new Japanese masters SquareEnix seem very keen on re-launching this franchise. Deus Ex 2 was utter dog muck but SquareEnix are taking this project over to Japan for the full Final Fantasy CGI treatment. Some may worry about this but I choose not to. After all SquareEnix do know a thing or two about RPG's.

2. Bioshock 2.

The fans cried! No way could they make a proper sequel to System Shock! They were right, Bioshock was a different take on the same idea and it worked. It worked very well indeed. Bioshock 2 will do what a lot of fans wanted, put you in the shoes of a Big Daddy. Big Daddy prime you are and Rapture is yours to mould. Will you save the little sisters or will you fight Big Sister?

3. Mass Effect 2

When it was announced Bioware were working on Mass Effect for PC and Xbox the fans went mad. Oh it cant possibly be as good as it was supposed to be as it was dumbed down for consoles. Bioware do not know compromise. Mass Effect was better than all the three Star Wars prequels and more, Bioware proved they were master story tellers and the story continues with Mass Effect 2.

4. Dawn of War 2: Chaos Rising.

The Trannids were nice but everyone who knows the Warhammer 40K universe knows Chaos is the ultimate bad boy and Chaos is back in a big way. Back by popular demand is Eliphas the Inheritor from Dark Crusade, arguably the only Chaos Lord with a brain. DOW2 has become stagnant and this should be a much needed shot to the arm. From what can be seen so far Relic have gone back to basics and lets hope they don't listen to too much QQ.

5. Star Trek Online.

I hate MMO's I really, really do. However Cryptic studios seem to 'get' Star Trek and the more I see of it the more I want to play it. Ignore the JJ Abrams reboot, this is the Star Trek we have been watching for years and they really have thought about the story. Klingons invading Romulan space? Very like All Good Things the last Star Trek: The Next Generation episode. Cryptic have done their homework but time will tell if they make a game worth paying monthly for.

The PC Mascot

2009-11-22T04:24:00.007Z

Nintendo have Mario, Sony have Jak & Daxter, Xbox has Master Chief. What does the PC have? Well I admit no company ever puts Windows on its flagpole but here are 10 candidates for Mascot for the PC.

1. Max Payne (Max Payne, Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne, Max Payne 3)

2. Serious Sam (Serious Sam: The First Encounter, Serious Sam: The Second Encounter, Serious Sam HD)

3. JC Denton (Deus Ex, Deus Ex: Invisible War)

4. Michael "Psycho" Sykes (Crysis, Crysis: Warhead)

5. Duke Nukem (Duke Nukem, Duke Nukem 3D, Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project)

6. Kane (Command & Conquer, C&C: Tiberium Sun, C&C 3: Tiberium Wars, C&C 4)

7. Sarah Kerrigan (Starcraft, Starcraft 2)

8. Gabriel Angelos (Dawn of War, Dawn of War 2)

9. The Cast of Team Fortress 2 (Team Fortress 2)

10. Gordon Freeman (Half-Life, Half-Life 2, HL2: Episode One, HL2: Episode Two, HL2: Episode Three)

Allow me a little whimsy.

2009-11-22T00:24:00.000Z

Everything sucks. This much is true. However cartoons really, really suck monkey balls right now. Other than Justice League: Unlimited which was cancelled (FUCKING great decision there Warner!!) no cartoons these days can hold a candle to any of the ones shown when I was a kid. I pity the kids as they don't have the awsome that I grew up with. Let me share with you through the magic of YouTube 10 of my favourites. Hollywood execs please turn away now. I don't want you scum getting ideas!

1. Transformers

2. M.A.S.K.

3. Centurions

4. He-Man

5. Star-Com

6. Visionaries

7. Ulysses 31

8. Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors

9. Dangermouse

10. Count Duckula

Stop with the remakes!

2009-11-21T16:22:00.002Z

I haven't had the chance to watch it yet but the feedback from friends is not good regarding the remake of V. To be honest thats what I was expecting, Hollywood is in a complete slump at the moment with no studio willing to spend big money on a new and possibly risky idea they fall back on the back on the past. Take a series or movie that is already popular, give it the CGI treatment and surely it's WIN. Yes? No.

No Michael Ironside = Epic Fail.

What many studio execs forget is that some of these TV shows and movies were very much of their time. Taking them out of that robs them of much of their attraction. Consider Knight Rider. The new series was flashy and had the obligatory sexy cast and pumping soundtrack and yes probably better stories than the original. However I can't be the only one watching it thinking it would be so much better with David Hasslehoff, Patricia McPherson, Edward Mulhare and William Daniels ever-so-slightly camp voice of KITT. From the moment the credits started without Richard Baseheart's monologue about one man making a difference I knew I was not going to enjoy this. Once again while re-inventing a classic they completely miss the point of the original. No worse than that, it's actually like Necromancy. It looks the same but there is no soul inside that withered husk.

The Hoff was never cool. Thats the point you missed.

I was one of the people who couldn't get into the new Battlestar: Galactica and believe me I tried. The original was bad, extremely so. Even as a kid I couldn't fail to notice the same explosions used over and over again. The sets were cheap the costumes were cheap and the actors exuded a special kind of cheese that only a real sci-fi fan can appreciate. The new series had the young sexy cast, the large budget CGI and that oh so cool steady-cam effect that made it look real. Nothing can disguise the fact though that the only thing this had in common with the original was the names, the Viper craft and the colonies. None of the characters were likeable, the stories were frequently depressing and dare I say over-written and there was no sense of exploration and wonder that American Sci-Fi shows do so well. Quite frankly they could have thrown every cast member out of an airlock and I doubt many of the fans would actually care. There were 42,000 other backstabbing bastards ready to take their place.

Watch cool sexy people scheming and plotting.

These are just examples from television and I gloss over the utterly horrid Flash Gordon remake because I wish I could burn that memory out of my mind. Purifying flame... yes thats whats needed. On to Hollywood and the attrocities just continue with 'gems' like Lost in Space. Even when Hollywood appears to get it right with films like Star Trek they can't help but do something to really, really fuck up the original. Blowing up Vulcan and Romulus is a spectacularly bad idea but JJ Abrams needed his 'BIG'. No i'm not a JJ hater at all I happened to like Alias it was just Lost I couldn't get into. However I knew when he was announced as the man bringing back Star Trek he was going to do something horrible. However Star Trek is the least of our worries, Hollywood studios have a habit of crying "ME TOO!" and sure enough there are now over 50 remakes on the way to a movie screen near you. Red Sonja, The Last Starfighter, Westworld, The Thing, Red Dawn, Short Circuit, Highlander and Logan's Run are all in the works with sexy young casts and Directors eager to remake the originals in their own image. Have we just completely run out of new ideas? Do we really need to see Dudley Moore (RIP) replaced with Russel Brand in Arthur?

FUCK NO!

Even success stories like Doctor Who get Hollywood studios thinking a Movie would be a good idea. No its a spectacularly bad idea, don't you remember the bloody awful Doctor Who TV Movie? The only ray of sunshine in that mess was Paul McGann's excellent 8th Doctor and John Debney's musical score. There are plenty of young talented writers and directors out there with fresh ideas that need to be encouraged, what we don't need is an endless slew of remakes that bear little resemblance to the originals. Sometimes a remake can be good, take for example John Carpenter's The Thing which was a remake of The Thing from Outer Space, but now Hollywood are remaking the remake.

Yes Kurt burn it! Burn the script, the studio and everything!

Maybe I am wrong and there are no new ideas. But it's a very depressing time to have a DVD collection as any one of my favourites may attract the eye of a studio looking for a quick windfall. Next you will be telling me they are remaking a classic like The Prisoner which can't possibly ever be as good as the original. They are? Pass the razor blade.

No Patrick McGoohan? Not interested. Ok maybe a little for Sir Ian.

Hey I want to talk about Bobby Kotick.

2009-11-21T01:43:00.001Z

He is the sexiest man alive is he not?

I like to rape babies

So thats Bobby. He likes to fuck people. Maybe it's father issues I don't know but he loves to stick his dick in anything that moves. So where do I start? Call of Duty Modern Warfare was one of the highest selling PC games of all time. People absolutely loved it and the money kept flowing to Bobby, everyone was happy. Bobby was not happy though, Bobby wants to put is dick in someone and just making a profit doesnt do it for him. He approached Infinity Ward and told them there would be no PC version, actually he wanted the PC version to be an Xbox360 port. He then ordered IW to lie, which they did and they liked it. They told every memeber of IW forums that it was not a port.

We are Infinity Ward and we don't care.

Then they announced there would be no dedicated servers. Activision really, really don't care. Go and CRAI SOME MOAR. The shareholders LOVE Bobby. Now the truth is starting to come out. PC gamers are getting motion sickness because the monitor is set up as a TV. Several new game modes have been discovered hidden, so IW removed them to sell as DLC. Best of all the PC version occasionally tries to log in to Xbox Live. Sickening.

Yeah I know... How much?

So how was the boycott? Dickheads all of you. You all sucked Koticks cock and you swallowed. May your balls drop off with the pox. How dare you say "I AM BOYCOTTING THIS GAME" then you buy it anyway. The word is dickhead, you are one. Wear it proud.

Lube? Just spread those cheeks baby.

So what have we learned? Bobby told us he was going to fuck us constantly, he raised the prices and we bought it. He removed the PC features and we bought it. He ported the 360 version to the PC and we bought it. We made it the the fastest selling PC game in history. So 70 Quid for Modern Warfare 3? Enjoy.

Direct Download round up

2009-11-03T01:15:00.001Z

I've been using direct download services for a while now and I thought I would give them a quick review so others that are curious can know what to expect. There are 6 services I have used and each has certain advantages and disadvantages. Price can vary wildly as can download speeds and the types of DRM that are included not to mention the level of customer support you can expect. So lets begin with the number one service at the moment:

The brainchild of Valve and released with Half-Life 2, Steam has attracted a loyal userbase and has grown to offer a massive catalogue. You need an account with Steam to use the service which includes downloading a launcher program. The launcher is clear and easy to use and is helpful for keeping track of your games collection. Naturally there is no disc check so games are only ever a click away from launching. Updates are frequent however a constant net connection is recommended. If one of your games is downloading an update and you lose your connection the game will be unavailable until the download can complete. Steam itself can be run in offline mode however it does need to dial home every 30 days or so which again can limit your games access. Retail patches cannot be applied to Steam games, you have to wait until the patch is made available to Steam to download through their servers.

Steam usefully provides links to Metacritic review scores for their games when available so you know what you are buying. Download speeds are generally good but expect congestion around major releases. To offset this Steam allow you to pre-load a game before the release date to avoid this. Prices for the US are usually very competitive however Valve came under attack when they a introduced regional pricing structure. All too often European prices are actually higher on Steam than they are at retail which removes any appeal of buying from a download service. Thankfully Steam have frequent sales which reduces prices to a more attractive level. Steam customer support is in my experience poor. They take a very long time to reply and their tech support guys seem unable to do much other than update you. Remember this is an account based service, if you lose access to your account then you lose access to every game you have ever purchased through Steam. This also applies to any retail game that uses Steamworks as DRM ie Empire: Total War and Saints Row 2. Most games use Steam as DRM however Steam will list when a publisher has included their own such as SecuROM or TAGES so you know what is going on your hard drive. Steam supply all games as provided by the publisher patched to the latest version, this means if a game does not work on Windows Vista it still wont even if bought through Steam there can be problems applying community patches and mods.

For the US Steam is an excellent service and I can see how it has gained such popularity. For European gamers I would urge caution and looking elsewhere would be advised. Only use Steam for their sales or if a product is only available there ie Valve games.

Direct2Drive are fast becoming a genuine competitor to Steam. They offer fast download speeds, pre-loading and no client so any game you buy from them is supplied with a CD-Key. Once the download is complete you activate the game just as you would from a retail copy and that is the transaction completed. This means if you have a falling out with D2D you always have your games and they cannot be de-activated. This also means however that while some games are listed as DRM-Free most games you buy from D2D will have publisher DRM. D2D are also not always thorough in listing what DRM is included though they do try wherever possible. This can mean that a game may have limited activations you are unaware of. Retail patches should work with D2D versions so you can always get the latest versions. Community patches and mods also should not be a problem. Be aware that D2D supply games as is from the publisher so if the game is not compatible with your OS there are no refunds. Prices in the US are excellent and the UK prices are also competitive. Europe however is not and all too often games are locked out and unavilable in certain regions. This can be extremely frustrating. Until D2D sort out their regional restrictions I cannot recommend the service to anyone in Europe. Customer support is reported as adequate.

Gamersgate are based in Europe which is refreshing. This means it does not suffer as many regional restrictions as Steam and D2D do. They also do not use a client so have all the advantages of D2D over Steam. Gamersgate customer support is reported to be good. DRM is listed wherever possible so always check the fine print so you know what you are downloading. Prices are comparable to Steam in that new releases are expensive for Europe but sales are worth keeping an eye on. They also tend to have different sales to Steam unlike D2D which often get the same ones. Retail patches should work here as well unless specified by the publisher as should community patches and mods. One word of caution with Gamersgate is they seem to have become a victim of their own success and they do not have adequate bandwidth. Download speeds range from average to cripplingly slow. Hopefully this will be addressed in the near future. As it stands Gamersgate should be your first port of call for a bargain but not if you need it in a hurry.

It took a long time for EA to embrace the digital era and while their games can be found on other servers such as Steam, Gamersgate and D2D they also offer their own direct service. There is a small but functional client that removes your disc check and allows one click launch. EA retail games can also be added to the download manager so you don't need to bother with the discs anymore. BIG words of caution though. If you do this the games are now linked to the EADM, this means you NEED a net connection. You cannot play any EADM games without access to the internet which is an enormous drawback. The good news is that while EA do employ regional restrictions they are usually the same price as retail. No saving but also not more expensive than retail as Steam can be. It's also not unknown to catch a bargain, the UK was recently given Crysis:Warhead for £5 which is amazing value. EADM is also fast, extremely so. Out of all the services listed EADM outpaces them all. If you need an EA game and you want it now this should be in your mind. EADM also offers pre-loading. It's an immature service and one that can be improved. Only time will tell.

What Steam is to Valve, Impulse is to Stardock. Stardock are a publisher and devloper of popular PC apps like Windowblinds and games such as Sins of a Solar Empire and have an excellent reputation among the PC community. Impulse has been growing slowly but steadily and has its eyes set firmly on the Steam pie. Impulse is a client based system like Steam which you need an account to use. However unlike Steam you do not need regular internet access. Once a game is purchased and downloaded you activate it online and that is all. You can then play the game offline to your hearts content. Most games use this method of DRM called GOO, some publishers insist on adding their own DRM like SecuROM so check the product page for details before downloading. If there is one serious drawback with Impulse its regional restrictions that seem worse here than on any other DD service. It's not uncommon to find a game you want unavailable in your region which is frustrating and leads to people going to other services when they would prefer Impulse. Well they should prefer Impulse as its a light client, offers software in addition to games and has download speeds second only to the EADM. Impulse is still a growing service and should be your first port of call for new games as the prices on the whole are more reasonable than Steam especially in Europe. For the moment though until the regional restrictions are lifted Impulse will remain big only in the US which is a shame.

Finally I end with GOG which stands for Good Old Games a service run by Polish publisher CD Projekt. GOG has been growing in popularity over the last year due to the fact that all games are supplied without any form of DRM. Their catalogue is mainly of older PC titles but they are all updated by the GOG staff to work flawlessly on Windows XP and Windows Vista regardless of age. Some of these games include classics like Fallout, Sacrifice, Heroes of Might and Magic and Divine Divinity which still stand up to modern games because of their brilliance. GOG also supply games that may have slipped under the radar first time around like Original War. GOG is a place for experimenting and discovering hidden delights. There are no regional restrictions with GOG, all games are available worldwide and all the prices are identical. They only have three prices, $5.99, $9.99 and Free. Depending on exchange rates you could be looking at real bargains here. Games are usually supplied with extras such as wallpaper, concept art, manuals and soundtrack CD's something you get on no other service. Of course the only drawback with GOG is the age of the games, you wont be getting Modern Warfare 2 here, download speeds can also vary from good to average. Customer support is generally excellent. GOG hopefully has a bright future if they can attract some of the bigger names like Lucasarts, Eidos and EA. Only time will tell. If you have 10 quid on your card some lazy Sunday, a trip to GOG is highly recommended.

Steam Update! (2)

2009-10-31T01:18:00.001Z

My Steam account is restored!

I have had my waffles. You may return.

Huzzah and Hurrah! 24 days after it was suspended it has been restored. 24 Days... rather a LONG time I think you will agree. So did Valve offer me anything in compensation? A game perhaps? No Valve offered nothing, in fact my friend Thomas made me feel like I owe him a great deal for being let back in the club.

Glad to halp

Thats not right surely is it? Here I am a victim and I am being treated like a criminal. What exactly did I do wrong? Why should I feel like this? What makes matters worse is after my account was restored I decided to buy The Witcher: Enhanced Edition from Steam. They declined my card, 7 times in fact. So are Steam not doing business with me anymore? I went off and bought The Witcher from Impulse and they had no problem with my card. I then bought Divine Divinity on GOG and Need For Speed Shift on the EA Store. None refused my card only Steam did.

Because we can.

Steam need to grow up and need to start looking after their customers better. Services like GamersGate, GOG and Impulse are gaining ground and quite frankly Steam need the competition. I don't think I will be buying from them again even if they do accept my card.

So N-Gage is dead? Thank god

2009-10-31T00:25:00.002Z

When Infogrammes bought Atari it was like Infogrammes were wearing Atari's skin. It was rather sickening, it still is to be honest. I have no objections to a company buying another company but buying a company then changing your name to be them... creepy.

Is it true if I kill you, I become you?

The Nokia N-Gage. Go on and laugh.... go on, get it out of your system... finished? Good. Back in 2003 Nokia announced they were entering the handheld gaming market with a cellphone that was also a gaming console. There was nothing wrong with the N-Gage itself it was a fine little machine. It beat the hell out of the GBA thanks to games like Tomb Raider and Tony Hawk's Pro Skater which were comparable to the Playstation versions. The Taco as it became known started to attract a hardcore fanbase and the N-Gage Arena grew up around them. Soon there were online tournaments with prizes held regularly by Nokia and games like Tiger Woods and Pathway to Glory only increased this interest.

GBA can kiss my arse!

But the N-Gage was built on out-dated tech. Soon the march of time caught up with N-Gage and the QD version which corrected a lot of faults of the original couldn't actually keep up with the new consoles. 2005 will be remembered by many as the golden years. Pathway to Glory, System Rush, High Seize and Rifts all added to the N-Gage catalogue. Then Nokia announced that there would be a new version. N-Gage 2.0 as it was dubbed was supposed to offer PSP level graphics in a cellphone. Nokia showed off the now legendary Robo-Ninja to demonstrate the power of their new 3DFX chipset. The funny thing is nothing exists anymore of those videos. It's almost like...

Shiny!

Nokia launched N-Gage 2.0 on a range of handsets including the N81 and N95 but instantly annoyed half of their target audience by not supporting the N93 or N73. Two phones which were listed as compatible up till 2008. Nokia hit the ground running with instant classics like Space Impact: Kappa Base and System Rush: Evolution. Yet after buying those you were left with offerings from Gameloft and EA that were.. lets be honest Java games. I can buy the game as Java for €2 or buy it for N-Gage for €10 hmmm.... Still we waited. And we waited. Then we got Pro Series Golf and it was good. Then we waited and waited and got Bounce: Boing Voyage. It was not good. Then we waited....

Not the Messiah! Just a very naughty phone.

While this was going on Nokia announced Ovi. Their answer to iTunes. Now some of us like myself started to wonder... was N-Gage 2.0 only brought out to keep it going so they could launch Ovi? Makes sense in a way. Get the people interested then bring them in with Ovi. But no it was denied, Ovi is nothing to do with N-Gage, they are seperate. Ok so we continued on... and the crap started to flow. It was frankly unbelieveable that Nokia were charging €10 for shite like this. Need For Speed: Undercover? Oh christ just look at it!

Brown ftw!

I don't blame EA I blame that wanker and tosspot Gregg Sauter the HEAD of third party publishing. The person who singlehandedly destroyed the N-Gage. All that shite you paid for? He okayed it! He looked at Dogz and thought "Yes this is exactly what we need". He had an ulterior motive. Sauter was hired to launch Ovi and did that by destroying the N-Gage.

I'm a Wanker!

So today we get the news that N-Gage has finally got a death date. September 2010. All the forums close and N-Gage will be no-more. Congratulations Nokia. How do you destroy a brand? Ask Nokia. I truly hope Ovi gets fucked by Apple and iTunes. Nokia deserve it. Apple would kill for the N-Gage Arena and instead of offering it, Nokia decide to burn every motherfucker alive. Well done Nokia and well done Gregg Sauter. If I ever meet you Sauter I will stab you in the eye with a pen and I will claim I was provoked. You short dicked, no chin wanker.

Steam Update!

2009-10-25T01:30:00.000+01:00

Or not. Been speaking to a lad a Steam support by the name of Thomas. Nice lad but not exactly helping me to be honest. The latest response was "Hi our banks are still not talking, just wanted to give you an update". Well thats just wizzer. I am fast approaching a month now banned from Steam for no reason I can fathom. As far as my PAYG credit card is concerned Steam has my money. Steam claim that the money was taken back from them by the credit card in a dispute. I never lodged a dispute thats for sure as I was well aware of how bad Steam can be with payments.

My way or FUCK OFF!

All I can say is that about 3 weeks ago there was more money on my card that I expected. It's possible that was the €8.99 Monkey Island: SE however when topping up my card on Friday by €40 I only had €30 to spend. Ok so has the money gone back to Steam now? I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!! Steam claim ignorance and my credit card supplier claim the same leaving me stuck in the middle with no games and wondering what the fuck I can do.

One thing I have learned is that Steam support is absolutely dreadful, they might even give Vodamoan a run for their money. If you want to buy games online then I will suggest www.gog.com, www.gamersgate.com or even www.direct2drive.com. Hell to be honest even the EA Store is light years ahead of Steam when it comes to customer support. If you want to use Steam then at least know what you are getting into. Steam is a rental company not a retail store and remember that well.

That loveable Bobby Kotick

2009-10-25T00:45:00.001+01:00

People wonder why I have gone pro-EA and anti-Activision and there are two reasons. The first is that I accept when someone tried to change and change for the better.

I wish this was EA laying the smackdown to Activision

Electronic Arts realized their name was in the gutter when last Christmas was an utter disaster for them. While companies like THQ, Microsoft and Sony were raking in the money EA was left with pennies. What made it worse for EA was that they had pumped a huge amount of money into their Xmas titles like Mirrors Edge, Dead Space and Need For Speed: Undercover, not to mention Spore. Even more baffling was these games were critically liked, especially Mirrors Edge and Dead Space. It was around this time that EA realized that it wasn't the products but the fact the name EA was stamped on every title. For years EA had been fucking the customers with empty expansion packs, restrictive DRM in games that turned paying customers into criminals and extremely poor sequels like the Need for Speed games. The customers had had enough and voted with their wallets. EA are now trying to change by opening up to digital download services, offering free downloadable content and most of all easing off on the DRM.

Officially not the sign of the Antichrist

Activision however are enjoying the adulation of the gaming public with games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare and Guitar Hero. In many ways Activision enjoyed the Xmas period that EA deserved. So how exactly do Activision reward their loyal fans for their enormous windfall? Of course like any predator that smells blood they go for the kill. Raising prices, removing dedicated servers from Modern Warfare 2, buying up competitors to kill them, removing content from games to sell as DLC, expansion packs that are really nothing more than DLC and the list goes on. Activision are a cancer that people accuse EA of being. I urge you all to STOP BUYING THEIR STUFF! You are only helping to destroy the gaming industry. This behavior should only be rewarded with low sales and uncomfortable AGM's. If you walk out and buy Modern Warfare 2 for 60 bucks then next year it will be 70 for Modern Warfare 3 which will be little more than an expansion pack. You have been warned.

Smell that money! Go on just smell it!

The second reason I hate Activision is the CEO Bobby Kotick.

O HAI!

You have seen his face before on my blog and you will I am sure see it a lot more. There has never been a more evil little shit of a man. A suit who cares about nothing but money who actually enjoys insulting his customers. Kotick thinks that you are all idiots. You will all buy any shit he puts out there and for any price as long as there is a 2 or a 3 after it. If he can get the licence for a movie, book or music group then the game will be allocated to the work experience kid. It will be rushed, buggy and crap but you wont care as long as Wolverine is on the cover and Bobby wont care as long as you all pay 60 quid for it. I will leave you now with some quotes from the great man himself for you to enjoy or hopefully get angry at. EA changed because you voted with your wallets. Do the same with Activision.

I love to fuck you.

"And Tony, you know if it was left to me, I would raise the prices even further."

“don’t have the potential to be exploited every year on every platform with clear sequel potential and have the potential to become $100 million dollar franchises. … I think, generally, our strategy has been to focus… on the products that have those attributes and characteristics, the products that we know [that] if we release them today, we’ll be working on them 10 years from now.”

"The goal that I had in bringing a lot of the packaged goods folks into Activision about 10 years ago was to take all the fun out of making video games."

"designing the employee incentive program so it 'really rewards profit and nothing else"

"skepticism, pessimism, and fear...We are very good at keeping people focused on the deep depression."

“In the last cycle of videogames you spent $50 on a game, played it and took it back to the shop for credit. Today, we’ll (charge) $100 for a guitar. You might add a microphone or drums; you might buy two or three expansions packs, different types of music. Over the life of your ownership you’ll probably buy around 25 additional song packs in digital downloads. So, what used to be a $50 sale is a $500 sale today.”

“The best of all margins – the 25 per cent operating margin business – has the potential as we can see with World of Warcraft to be a 50 per cent operating margin business. What used to be a low 20s return on invested capital business is now growing to a plus 40 per cent return on invested capital business.”

What are you going to do about it? Nothing!

In addition I will add that it was Kotick's idea to split Starcraft 2 into 3 different games. Enjoy.

Redrum - A tribute

2009-10-24T00:18:00.006+01:00

There are many reasons I hate Nokia. For one thing they tried to create a games platform when their business is making as many new phones as humanly possible. Another would be trying to launch that gaming platform again but with thruppence half-penny as a budget. Anyone in the UK see an N-Gage advert on telly? How about the US? No? Funny that. Nokia re-launched the N-Gage format with the single aim of fleecing every person who ever bought into the original format. Oh and fleece they did. €10 per game for a game that normally costs €2 but with achievements like Xbox live!

I have no chin.

Am I being unfair? I don't think so. We all spent that money and yet its poor old Congested that has to deal with every technical problem. At the same time Nokia were warned about their distribution model before it was launched but they decided not to listen to us as they paid lots of people lots of money to tell them its better to let people download the game THEN unlock it. All the pirates had a field day then. To be honest I gave up thinking who I was talking to may be a cracker, they all were. Why not? Nokia allows them to download the full game. A simple crack and they have the full game. Nokia did this on purpose and that is the cold truth. Nokia wanted a huge installed userbase and crackers gave them that. Pity it bit them on the ass.

Deader than a can of Spam

3 Million users? Sure nice figure. How many actually bought games? 10? 5? Nokia tried to play the pirates and lost. Quite frankly I am glad they did. You cannot sustain a business by hating your own customers and giving freebies to everyone who can google. Make no mistake folks, the idiots who appear in the N-Gage chat asking for help with cracks are the tiny minority.

Free games!!

Yet what can I say about Redrum? A true gentleman. The best admin its been my pleasure to deal with. I feel sorry for Redrum because while most of us were sitting here saying that everything is going to hell, Redrum was the one person saying no its not and it will get better. I actually believed it when Redrum said it and when I said something bad around him it felt like I kicked a puppy.

Artists impression of Redrum

Redrum has been there since the beginning of Arena and has never wavered in his belief in the format. Redrum was the voice we all listened to, Redrum was Arena. Now Redrum is gone and in a way the very soul of Arena is gone. Redrum is banned from talking on Arena about why he was released but I would like to think that he stood up for us as he always did. Red was a hero, he was our hero.

Why do I hate Nokia? They sacked the one guy who actually believed in them.

Game franchises that need to be retired.

2009-10-17T01:12:00.001+01:00

I know I am not going to make any friends here but there are some games that need to crawl away and die, preferably slowly and painfully. I am sick of the sequel and I need people to leave the characters alone for at least 10 years then bring them back like a phoenix from the flames.

1. Sonic the Hedgehog.

I'm not dead i'm resting

What can I say here? When was the last decent Sonic game? Sonic & Knuckles? Now Sega have their tick ridden mongrel going to the Olympic games with Mario. Oh sweet jesus.... Mario can outrun Sonic now. I guess its all the drugs Sonic took when fame went to his head. Sonic seems to be in the Cory Fieldman stage at the moment, basically flogging his teeth for hooch. Put a bullet in his head Sega and come back in about 10 years with some Voodoo.

2. Resident Evil

Yeah they are dead, trust me. NOW SHOOT!

Anyone remember when this series was about... Zombies? It's all about the fucking T Virus now. Capcom paid too much attention to the bloody awful movies and now the Zombies are people. The whole point of Resident Evil is guilt free killing! Now you rob us of that... I don't know who you are anymore Capcom.

3. Mario

Mama mia I need a holiday. Call the employment tribunal!

Oh Nintendo, how the mighty have fallen. Once upon a time Mario was the very last word in platform games. I myself must have spent days on Super Mario World. But now the fat plumber is nothing but a figurehead. Roll him out to show something new off. Am I the only person thinking that Myamoto is losing the plot? Bring back characters you introduced in Super Smash Bros Melee! Metal Knight, Pitt and the Ice Climbers! Mario is dead to me, stop showing me his corpse.

4. Metal Gear Solid

Call me Plissken.

Has there ever been a more over written series featuring totally unlikable characters that has been a smash hit? Probably not and that is why Hideo Kojima is now giving us Raidens story for Xbox and PC. YAY! Does anyone really care anymore? Raiden I had hoped would die after MGS2, no such luck. Kojima brought the brilliant character Solid Snake to life which he lifted lock, stock and barrel from Escape from New York then added a huge cast of characters that we don't care about. Basically we only play Metal Gear Solid to play Snake Plissken, everything else is crap.

5. Silent Hill

Oh god... they are milking me to death. I would rather Pyramid head just do it now.

Oh please just no more. Silent Hill 1 & 2 were great because they did what no other game did, Psychological Horror. Clock Tower was first but Silent Hill made it into the mainstrem. Shame everything after Silent Hill 2 has either a) nothing to do with Silent Hill or b) convoluted crap with lots of blood. Look back at Silent Hill 2 then play Silent Hill Origins. Konami NO!!

6. Gears of War

For the last time I was not in Unreal Tournament!! That was my clone.

Sick of it now and I know there is a 3rd on the way. Laziest game ever made, no wonder Epic dumped PC games because they would have been found out. Fact is, Gears of War is nothing more than a mod for Unreal Tournament 3. Someone tried to prove that and got shut down by Epic. Epic and Cliffy B realise that Xbox360 owners will pay full price for a mod to an existing game. Let the good times roll at Epic Cliffy.

7. Halo

Oh everyone is enjoying ODST. How nice. What a pile of crap. Another mod to an existing game and yet the 360 owners pay full price for it. Microsoft and Bungie are laughing all the way to the bank, well for the moment. They will be back soon to sell the usual DLC. Again not surprising Microsoft did not launch Halo 3 on PC as Halo ODST has existed on PC as a mod for Halo 2 for years now. Its almost like Bungie took the mod, add some Bungie then sell it for full price.

8. Starcraft 2

Fuck em. I was here first!

STOP talking about it as I am bored already. People forget Starcraft only became the number one online game because it was played by law in South Korea. Starcraft is extremely boring. It's balanced perfectly which is great for tournaments (big cheer goes up in Korea) but for new players forget it. The fact is Starcraft 2 is IDENTICAL to Starcraft, Therefore the people who have been playing it for the last 10 years are still going to beat you like a bitch. It's not your savior, move along.

9. Rock Band

Ringo only got laid because of George and Paul. John knew he was an ugly bastard.

Beatles Rock Band. Nice. But where do you go from there? If this is the start of one band games then forget it. The Beatles were unique in that they had a huge backlog of songs. Motorhead Rock Band has limited scope as does The Damned Rock Band. I can pretty much guess The Who will be next and I love Roger and the band but they cant carry a whole game.

10. Guitar Hero

I can has money now?

Here is an idea Activision! Jazz Hero! You can sell snare drums and clarinets. Or Beat Box Hero where you sell Microphones and faders. Lets face it Bobby. You think you are right and I know I am right. I cant wait to see Activision die.

Something that doesn't suck.

2009-10-16T23:35:00.000+01:00

There are a few names in gaming that can be considered royalty. Mario, Sonic, Solid Snake, Link, Samus Aran these are names that remote tribes in the Congo have heard of. Fallout is also included in this list although you may not understand why. Fallout was never released on the Consoles and therefore was never given a mainstream audience, mainly due to the fact that Interplay at the time was run by a dunken chimpanzee with a bunch of grenades who couldn't destroy the publisher and associated studios quick enough. Despite this Fallout and Fallout 2 are widely regarded as two of the finest RPG's ever made. So much so in fact that I ran out and bought the collectors edition of Fallout 3 as soon as it was on the shelves not even bothering to read a review. Due to work and other commitments like Mass Effect I didn't actually get the chance to play it straight away though. Then I read the reviews which were all positive but then Kane & Lynch: Dead Men dropped. Suddenly no reviews anywhere could be trusted. I then found out it was Bethesda Softworks that made Fallout 3, the same people behind the snore-a-thon that was Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. The horror continued when I read the dreaded words Downloadable Content.

Hi, i'm Ash and I will be killing you today

Downloadable Content when first envisioned was supposed to reward customers with extensions to their games. However companies like Bethesda have actually used it as a cash cow in the past. Ripping off customers by cutting content from the game and selling it as an add on. Bethesda are not alone in this, EA, THQ and others have all done this. One more way to fuck the paying customer and why not. Bethesda are just unfortunate in that they are the only developer to preview a game with the content then remove it and sell it later (Oblivion horse armor), so they are the poster boys to put on your dartboard. Well I still thought I had to play Fallout 3 as I knew I was missing out, so I picked up all the DLC packs in a sale at Gamestop and finally installed and started playing.

I have never heard of Aunty Entity

I am so glad I did. I used to think that Bioware are the masters of the PC RPG but Bethesda I think have beaten them this time. Mass Effect has nothing on Fallout 3 and for once the Downloadable Content actually has some content! The game starts with you newborn then following you through you childhood till you leave the Vault and enter the wasteland. The feeling is hard to describe but imagine the cold clinical surrounds of the Sulaco in Aliens then you open a door into Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior. Washington D.C. is beautifully recreated however beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is an atomic wasteland and the ruins are very like Planet of the Apes. The map is absolutely huge and unlike Oblivion where everywhere was a boring slog I enjoyed every minute of exploring. Bethesda have crammed so much to see from remote drive in's to the broken Capitol building. I guess the difference is Oblivion was set in generic fantasy world #23 while Fallout 3 is OUR Washington D.C.

Altogether now! Boooom Headshot!

So much to do and see. Slavers using the Lincoln Memorial as a base of operations. A whole village of cannibals complete with the stuffed basements. Most of all though unlike Bioware's games moral choices that actually make you feel uncomfortable. One stand out moment is a place called Tenpenny Tower where the rich live in affluence while some Ghouls are desperate to get in for safety. Ghouls in Fallout are meerly humans who have been badly affected by radiation so while looking like the living dead are people. I begged and pleaded with the residents to let them in as it was the right thing to do. When I returned there later all the humans were dead, their bodies dumped in the sewers including one old man who's best friend was a Ghoul and wanted them to come in. The Ghouls said they were bigots and deserved to die. Never before has a game made my blood boil so much and you bet I shot them all. The fact the game provoked that reaction is praiseworthy enough.

I don't care if you are human piss off you freak!!!

Oh and the dreaded Downloadable Content? Operation: Anchorage places you in the battle for Alaska which replaces the brown of the wasteland with crisp mountains and pale blue skies. It transforms the game into a squad based shooter and I loved it. The Pitt adds a whole new city Pittsburgh which has been transformed into something resembling Bartertown from Mad Max 3. I loved that too. Broken Steel is the continuation of the original story and more = better. It also corrects the rather crap ending in the vanilla Fallout 3. Point Lookout... Ok that one gave me the willies. Imagine Evil Dead crossed with Deliverance. Finally Mothership Zeta. Mars Attacks and V the Final Battle rolled into one, can there be anything better?

Where is Will Smith when you need him?

It strikes me that Bethseda let their imaginations run riot with the Downloadable Content packs for Fallout 3 and I thank whatever god is around at the moment that they did. Never have I played a more diverse, emotionally engaging and enjoyable game in a very long time. Thank you Bethesda, thank you for proving to me that Downloadable Content can be good and can you please send copies of Fallout 3 GOTY to all the other developers out there so they can see how it should be done? To anyone who has not played this magnificent game yet the Game of the Year edition is out soon which includes all the Downloadable Content, I really, strongly suggest you pick up a copy and just explore the wasteland.

Doctor Who fans SHADDUP!

2009-10-08T01:25:00.001+01:00

Ever since Doctor Who returned to our screens in 2005 the show has built up and extremely hardcore following especially with the fans that were new to the series. The show has grown to amazingly popular levels and that's a wonderful thing. I just wish the BBC would throw some of that revenue they take in back at the show once in a while.. but anyway. This year we see the end of David Tennant's tenure as the Tenth Doctor not to mention the departure of executive producer Russel T Davies. Into the series we welcome new Exec producer and writer Steven Moffat and Matt Smith as number Eleven. Well I say welcome but that's not true. Quite frankly I am getting sick of seeing people calling the series a complete failure before we have seen even one episode.

You said it Matt.

For the new fans let me explain this in plain English for you. If you do not like change then this is not the show for you. Change is at the very core of Doctor Who, Companions come and go as do actors playing the Doctor himself. There are also NO regeneration limits to all the geeks who throw up that one episode as evidence. Do you really think the BBC will end a popular show because twelve regenerations were used up? They don't even have to explain regeneration number 13, they certainly never bothered mentioning how The Master managed to return from death and oh look! He is back again that crafty bugger. A show that features a central plot of Time Travel is never going to be big on continuity.

Have they not seen the Pertwee era logo?

Back to series 5 and people are so quick to hate it, even the new logo is the WORST LOGO EVER!! Need I remind you that Steven Moffat is running the show now? Steven "Blink" Moffat. Steven "Girl in the Fireplace" Moffat. STEVEN "DOCTOR FUCKING DANCES" MOFFAT!! For years people have been talking like Russel T Davies was the worst possible Doctor Who writer and screamed that Moffat should be the one in charge, now they have their wish and what do we hear? OMG IT'S GOING TO SUCK! You know, I was one of the people who took offence to RTD's claim that "People who didn't enjoy Journey's End are not real fans" because I love Doctor Who but I found Journey's End wanting. Yet I can now see his point. No matter what happens with Doctor Who people are going to hate it, it seems.

May I humbly suggest that we at least wait until the credits roll on episode one before we start sticking the knife in? And to all the people who think they can do a better job of writing for Doctor Who, well you can't otherwise you would be doing it already. Stick to the fan fiction folks. I'm waiting for the new series with an open mind because you know what? I would rather wait in hope than fester in misery.

Activision is at it again.

2009-10-08T00:36:00.004+01:00

Evidently Bobby Kotick has not done enough evil deeds this week to satisfy his deal with Satan and has now decided to axe 30 jobs from developer 7 Studios. You may not think this is significant until I say that 7 Studios were the original developers of the game Scratch the Ultimate DJ, a product that was to be in direct competition to Activisions’ own DJ Hero. Activision claimed that they were acquiring the development studio to work on their own music based games.

Hallo

Publishers Genius Products however contend that Activision only acquired the studio to delay the release of Scratch and gain access to the source code of the game, a claim Activision strongly deny. And yet now Activision has already downsized the studio saying “Since the completion of its acquisition by Activision, 7 Studios has realigned its business to focus its development resources on the music genre. As part of the realignment, the studio is reducing its workforce to better reflect Activision’s upcoming slate of music-based games.”

It seems that Activision and Kotick in particular are starting to throw around Blizzard’s money in attempts to destroy any possible competition. We all knew that Activision were a nasty corporate entity but after the merger with Vivendi Games the owners of Blizzard (who make World of Warcraft and Starcraft) it seems they now have the financial muscle to really damage the industry. At the moment if you are an independent developer working on a music game you have to be looking over your shoulder in worry.

While people may say that Microsoft and Electronic Arts have employed similar tactics in the past, neither have deliberately destroyed a studio simply to destroy a product. Angry? Yes I am, because talented programmers and artists are hard to find in the gaming industry and 30 of them just found themselves on the dole queue for no reason other than they were playthings of a giant.

Source: Kotaku

Digitiser!!!

2009-10-06T22:39:00.004+01:00

The beauty of the Internet is not about sharing news instantly, its not about talking with your friends online all over the world and its not about finding fake nude pics of your favourite celebrities. Although I do concede that porn is perhaps the most popular function of the Internet. No, the beauty of the Internet is that popular things from your childhood are preserved out there in digital form for you to find on a long night on Google. Sometimes however its a long trawl through Wikipedia that will find a link that will spark some wonderful memories and that happened to me last night when I came across a fan site dedicated to the games magazine Digitiser.

Literally The Man.

Unlike most magazines this was one of the first ever to be solely in a digital format and distributed though the Teletext TV service. Yes this was a long time before the days of IGN I will tell you. The magic of Digitiser however was that despite this extremely limited format the writers were top class and unlike most magazines refused to patronise their readership. Mr. Biffo, Mr. Cheese, Mr Hairs, Mr. Udders and cast of wonderful characters such as The Man With The Long Chin, Chester Fisho, Fat Sow and even Mr. T all contributed to the funniest and most surreal comedy since Monty Python.

Mr. T - Wants you to stay away from his bins!

The most important of all was that Digitiser was very fair and balanced in its reviews, a fact that started a war with ‘real’ magazine Mean Machines when Digi awarded Sonic 3 a lowly 75%. Unfortunately the Teletext schmucks grew to hate Digitiser and continued to interfere with its output after some complaints were received regarding content of a sexual nature. However this did not stop the Digi team from continuing to push through material that had Teletext censoring it in case it ‘might’ contain something offensive. Sharp intelligences the Digi team had to deal with obviously.

Insincere Dave was always sincere (lie).

Another point of note was Digitiser’s interaction with it’s fans. Amiga owners would continually complain that their format was receiving no coverage to which Digitiser would say “The format is dead you dullards!”. In fact Digitiser may have actually hated their own fans they insulted them so much, yet it didn’t stop them from getting a readership of 1.5 Million. Yes you read that right.
I will say no more. I will simply say that you should check out the brilliant fan site Super Page 58 and console yourself that Digi humour is alive and well here at Bubblegun. Now if you will excuse me I need to read some more Laugh-O’s and more Fact-O-Rama’s. Nubby nubby nubby!

Steam. A wonderful service. When it works.

2009-10-05T22:55:00.003+01:00

For a long time now I have been preaching the gospel of Gabe Newell and Valve's online store Steam. It was the first service that I had ever used that allowed me to buy games online and depending on connection speeds have it in a fast speed, pre-installed and ready to play. Honestly the system is rather seamless, simply point, click, buy, download and play. When I first started using Steam I was so impressed that it made me warm to the whole idea of online distribution. I had very recently been a console gamer and I really did love my boxes and manuals but Steam offered games at cheaper prices direct to my PC. As you can imagine this has several advantages, not to mention not having to spend time hunting down a game that the idiot buyers had not ordered enough of.

Now this soured a little when Valve decided to introduce regional pricing as for some reason Valve decided that $1 should equal €1. As we all know there is something very wrong with that equation. With that reasoning Valve were no longer cheaper than retail and in some cases were considerably more expensive than the retail versions which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. The convenience of Steam was suddenly removed by having to pay €5 to €15 more than you would just by going down to the local store. However Valve continued with their special deals which did often offer bargains that were too good to turn down. They also have quite a collection of games that are older and often impossible to find at retail. These reasons kept me as a Steam customer, I simply had to be a little more prudent in my purchasing.

I continued on accumulating quite a collection over the past few years however I started to read about considerable discontent about the service on various websites not least Steam's own forums. People complained that you were not in fact buying the games but were leasing them from Valve on a service that could be terminated at any point. However I paid little heed to these complaints given that in my experience Steam had proven to be a reliable and solid service.

All this changed on Friday. Usually Steam put up a weekend deal each Friday with which to tempt your wallet, deals which often do indeed tempt me to extract the credit card from its moorings. I logged in as usual to check out what I was buying for the weekend or at least I tried to. The log in box informed me my account was disabled. I considered this and assumed it was some mistake so I decided in the meantime to see what GOG and Impulse were going to tease me with. Given an hour later I decided to log in again only to be greeted with the same message. I assumed there was some problem so I registered on the Steam support forums and sent them a message simply asking what was the reason my account was disabled. I assumed I had done something wrong even though I had no idea what. Time passed and the sun set on Friday with nothing more than the usual automated message to tell me my message was logged.

This now, rather annoyed me. Firstly the message was sent even before Steam opened their offices, so its not like one of their helper monkeys did not have time to simply send me a message to tell me they are looking into the problem. What I found most annoying was that Steam was shut down completely so the €400 odd worth of games I had bought over the past few years was completely denied to me. I continued to seethe over the course of the weekend thinking about customer support going home early and not even bothering to contact me until I started talking to a US user who had a billing issue which was sorted out on Saturday. So Valve DO in fact work the weekends or at least with a skeleton support crew. My patience was starting to wear thin at this point as I had been ignored all weekend without even being told if or what I had done wrong.

So the Sun comes up on Monday, well I am sure it did as it was going down by the time I was up anyway. As of this time which is approaching bed time here Valve still have not even acknowledged my problem. Bear in mind that I am an extremely reasonable person (most of the time) and all I wanted was a message to say they are looking into it. I was certainly not expecting my service restored at that exact moment. Which got me thinking, Steam really is a service and not a store. If I buy a game from my local Game Stop they don't suddenly turn up at my door and demand the game to be returned. With retail you pay money and you recieve goods. It's not so simple with Steam. All of this would be fine if they offered world class customer support which they clearly don't.

The whole situation is so sad really as I was quite the advocate for Steam and was more than pleased with Valve until this incident. People have told me that I can't suddenly hate a service just because of one problem. However with a problem this serious you would expect it to be dealt with in a timely manner and certainly good levels of customer service would be a pre-requisite of any service like this. If your cable TV goes down you expect it to be fixed in a timely manner and Steam has more in common with a cable TV provider than a retail store. However unlike a cable TV provider you can't simply move to another provider as all the games you have purchased are tied to your account, you can't take them with you.

Newell - Ready to sell you games. Don't like his terms? Get fucked.

I would urge anyone who is interested in using Steam from now on to be very sure of the service you are getting into and not to be as blindly trusting as I was. As for me I will wait and see what the response is, other than that I will stick to online providers like www.GOG.com and www.impulsedriven.com from now on as their systems are far more customer friendly.

Activision decides to keep on screwing the PC owners.

2009-10-05T21:40:00.004+01:00

Evidently Bobby Kotick was once molested by a PC or perhaps when he was a child he had a PC in his room and when he was trying to sleep the PC turned into an evil clown head. That's the only possible reason I can fathom for his pathological hatred of both the format and the people who use it.

Kotick - Ready to fuck you. because he can.

Already Activision decided to raise the cost of the PC version of Modern Warfare 2 to $59.99 for no reason other than they can. Lets face it Call of Duty 4 sold a lot, so corporate thinking obviously goes that you can sell a lot AND make $10 extra on each game. It's money in the bank after all. I am sure the PS3 and Xbox360 owners will say that that's fair as that's what they have to pay. However on the consoles, for each game Sony and Microsoft get a portion of the profits. On the PC there no such issue so that extra ten bucks is going straight into Activision's coffers. That's what we like to call price gouging and a very shady practice it is.

Not content with giving PC owners a good shaft with the price it seems now Modern Warfare 2 has been delayed by a Month. The reason? None given so far and indeed why should Activision? It's not like anyone can do anything about it. This is a thinly veiled attempt by Activision to get people who own both a console and PC to buy the console version instead. Activision have engineered a situation where the only people who win are Activision. Infinity Ward are going to get it in the neck from their loyal fans and the fans are truly getting screwed. If Modern Warfare 2 continues to go on and sell extremely well then Kotick will claim that he was fully justified in raising the price and delaying the game so nasty pirates did not affect sales. If however Modern Warfare 2 is this holiday seasons Spore then Kotick will claim that the PC is a diseased platform and just like the wonderful Cliffy B of Epic will say all PC owners are pirates.

The truly sad and slightly amusing fact is the pirates as usual will not suffer in the slightest. They will still have the game on the day of release for free and will be playing it online within days. The actual paying customers are the ones getting fucked as usual.

It's guys like Kotick and Bleszinsky that embody the cancer that is eating away at the PC gaming industry. They claim the PC is dying as a gaming platform and is it no wonder? We have pricks like them who are selling high priced games filled with restrictive DRM that only hurt paying consumers.

Bleszinski - Thinks you are scum.

I would like to remind Bobby Kotick that whenever consoles enter a transition phase from one generation to the next it is the PC they always return to as the stable platform to make money from. I don't even have to remind Bleszinsky where Epic came from. Jazz Jackrabbit anyone?

Welcome to my Blog. (again)

2009-10-05T21:07:00.001+01:00

My first attempt at pseudo journalism was a directionless one. To be honest I found it hard to go back to as I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to do with it.

Then I moved on to the N-Gage Critic which was fun, but after I lost my log in details I found myself apathetic to N-Gage and decided not to bother trying to get the log in details back.

The fact is I need somewhere to put my thoughts out there if only so I can read them and tell myself how stupid I sound, so here I am with Blog number three. I think I will find this easier to use as I have deceded to focus on the things about life that make me want to scream. Usually thats the gaming industry where a high IQ would seem to be something required for janitorial duties. I'm sure the contents wont be all negative as there are rays of sunshine out there that make me believe in humanity at times, it's just that those examples are the extremely small minority.

So wont you join me and raising a fist at the world in general and shaking it in a threatening manner? Trust me it's very stress relieving.